Archive for October, 2008

All three parts of my meditation series are now online over at PickTheBrain.com. The articles are called “How Meditation Improves Your Health”.

Meditation Article Part One

• How mainstream society (and in particular the medical community) has accepted the evidence that meditation is effective in assisting healing.
• The dark side of our connectivity culture – stress.

Meditation Article Part Two

• How your body reacts to stress
• Why you are probably more stressed than you need to be
• Why stress is bad for our bodies

Meditation Article Part Three

• What is the Relaxation Response
• How to achieve Biological Balance (and why it’s good for you)
• The many benefits of meditation

Also don’t forget to go check out my new eBook “Psychedelic Meditation: How to Get an Awesome Cosmic High Without Drugs” and learn how you can not only enjoy the health benefits of meditation but also the recreational possibilities of meditation too!

Peace out dudes. Have, like, a totally tubular weekend…

Seamus Anthony

Imagine … you are sitting in your room, enjoying the kind of brilliant, cosmic high that other people pay good money for – but it costs you nothing, you can turn it off at any time, and not only is it harmless – it actually strengthens and improves your health!

Sound like bullshit?

Well it’s not; it’s truth, and you can make it a part of your reality today.

Confession: I Am a Complete Tripper

I get ridiculously high on a regular basis – like, I am talking “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” here – except with two major differences:

1. No paranoia or other negative side-effects
2. I don’t actually take any kind of drug or substance to induce my highs

So how can you get right-out-there high without taking drugs?

Introducing … Psychedelic Meditation

Like some weird kind of hippy scientist, I have spent the last ten years refining a system of meditation designed – amongst other benefits – to induce a wonderful, clear, clean and blissful Cosmic High. Here’s how it happened …

I used to be big into drugs and alcohol – I was a musician with all the usual crazy ideas about what constituted a good idea and a fun time. My values have changed a bit now, but more so my physical ability to punish myself like that anymore. (At 35 – and after really going for party-gold for many years – the old system just doesn’t dig that crazy shit anymore.)

I used to pride myself on my ability to party on without much in the way of negative side-effects, I would go straight from a late night club to work in the morning and think nothing of it. But by the time my mid-late twenties rolled around I found myself getting more and more depressed. I turned to meditation to alleviate these feelings and pretty soon I was back on track and feeling better, but something else kept happening…

Something unexpected…

Although it was not why I had taken up meditation, sometimes I would notice a very pleasant side effect that came over me when I was meditating…

Meditating Was Getting Me As High As A kite – And I Loved it!

Honestly it was amazing. I remember once a friend of mine knocked on my apartment door when I was in the middle of a particularly wonderful meditation induced high and when I answered the door he said something like “Man! You are totally glowing with some kind of supernatural light!” (I kid you not!)

I hugged him and then started enthusiastically describing how I was feeling: how I felt like my body was swimming in warm, sticky honey and how I was just so incredibly happy and how everything looked so trippy and how everything in the world just made so much sense … and he said “Dude! You’re on acid, right?”

But I wasn’t – not at all – and anyway it felt better than acid (I would know).

I was hooked – well, not literally because it’s not a destructive addictive substance – but I definitely wanted to feel this incredible Bliss as often as possible.

BUT…

It didn’t happen every time. Sometimes I would sit and it just wouldn’t happen.

But I kept at it and after ten years practice I can honestly say that I have got it down to a pretty fine art.

I’d like to share this with you so I have written an e-book about it. It’s pretty detailed and has taken me a lot of time to research and write, so I feel it’s only fair that I charge for it BUT I am offering a special discount to current Rebel Zen readers: It’s full price will be $39.75 and we are offering a general introductory price of $32 – BUT Rebel Zen readers can grab it for $25 for the next week only.

REBEL ZEN MEMBER PRICE: $25.00

You will need to enter this code RZLIST3160 into the box when you get to the special Rebel Zen offer page by following the link below:

Click Here for “Psychedelic Meditation: How to Get an Awesome High Without Drugs”

Clicking the link above will not commit you to purchasing the book; it will take you to a page that has some more information about it and from there you can make up your mind.

I do hope you decide to give it a go. I reckon you’ll get heaps out of it and anyway there’s a 100% money back guarantee – so if you hate it you can stick it back in my face and I won’t argue

Just in case you need a little more convincing here’s a list of what’s in the book:

	A Foundation Course To Prepare Your For Your Cosmic Trip – Meditation Basics For Those New To the Art
	The One and Only Breathing Skill You Will Ever Need To Meditate Effectively
	A Detailed Explanation of the Two Body Skills of Psychedelic Meditation
	A Detailed Explanation of the Four Mind Skills of Psychedelic Meditation
	A Dynamic Investigation That Smashes Some of The Biggest Myths Surrounding Meditation
	Hints and Tips To Help You Get Through Common Roadblocks to Effective Meditation
	Rebel Zen’s Patented “Tri-Focal Meditation Technique™” – a way to meditate that makes it so easy that even those with the busiest minds find they can finally break through and meditate properly
	The One Negative Side Effect of Meditation that the Gurus Don’t Want You to Know … And What To Do About It.
	The Single Greatest Secret to Happiness in this Life – you’ll see how this relates to getting high without drugs when you read it.
	Several Colourful Descriptions of Trippy Psychedelic Meditation Sessions of My Own (to encourage you to “break on through to the other side”)
	A Guided Meditation For Those Who Need a Bit of Extra Help

REBEL ZEN MEMBER PRICE: $25.00 (full price will be $39.75)

You will need to enter this code RZLIST3160 into the box when you get to the special Rebel Zen offer page by following the link below:

Click Here to Purchase “Psychedelic Meditation: How to Get an Awesome High Without Drugs”

Happy tripping!

Seamus Anthony

By Seamus Anthony

I am a big fan of spot meditations, which are quick meditations done “on the spot” that can take anywhere from an instant to a couple of minutes. Here’s a longer one that I sometimes do in the morning when I get up.

First thing I do is put the kettle on, then while I wait for it to boil I do a quick, relaxing meditation.

I have an old stainless steel kettle that we heat up on the gas stove-top which takes a minimum of five minutes depending on how full it is. You could do an electric kettle meditation but that would be a true ’spot meditation’ as they boil pretty quickly.

My kettle meditation technique isn’t complicated – just sitting up straight, focussing on the breath and enjoying the morning peace and quiet. Obviously I live somewhere that is peaceful and quiet in the mornings, I guess if you don’t then you’ll have to meditate on the noise – which can be ok also (but more challenging in my opinion).

Our kettle sings this lovely, warm two-note harmony when it boils which is great when I am doing the kettle meditation and nobody is home, but truth is I usually flick the whistle up so that it doesn’t sound, in order to get a precious hour’s writing in before the little ‘un wakes up.

I find this meditation useful on mornings where I want to get straight into writing first thing while my mind is fresh, but have that nagging voice telling me that it is also a perfect time to meditate. This way I get just a nice taste of that lovely, lush, pleasant feeling that washes over me when I meditate, and then I get to work with a nice hot cuppa tea at hand.

Ah, it’s a wonderful life!

Speaking of the blissful feelings that meditation can bring on, we have just released a 60 page e-book this week about just that. Please visit our Psychedelic Meditation website to find out how you can enjoy a blissful Cosmic High by meditating.

By Seamus Anthony

Here is a slightly exaggerated list of the reasons why my music career kind of stalled …

1) Either by fluke or an initial burst of hard work, achieve a minor level of proficiency and/or success and then decide you have made it already, that the world owes you continued growth, success and adulation, and that you don’t need to try anymore.

2) Foster and fertilise your ego until it becomes so inflated that you can’t see around it anymore.

3) Believe your own hype.

4) Get stuck into drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes until you are both psychologically and physiologically addicted to both. Allow the unchecked consumption of these vices to eat up all of your cash, and destroy your health and your grip on reality. Eat badly and allow your fitness levels to plunge, and your body image to go to pot.

5) Don’t listen to other musicians and learn from them. Don’t listen to many different kinds of music. Don’t constantly read and research, ask questions, pay attention to what the Pros do, or invest any time whatsoever into learning new skills. And NEVER practice. Fail completely to plan your career in advance, and be very careful to utterly neglect to utilize any strategy or common sense whatsoever as you go about your business. MOST IMPORTANTLY – ALWAYS REFUSE POINT BLANK TO GET INVOLVED IN ANYTHING THAT EVEN VAGUELY RESEMBLES HARD WORK.

6) Believe every two bit, self-deluded, no-hoper Manager/Agent/Record Company Owner/Publisher and all of the lies and empty promises they feed you. Be eager to hand control of your career over to them, and happily let them go about destroying any chance you have of getting anywhere worthwhile.

7) Be impatient, irritable, irresponsible, unreliable, dishonest and lazy.

8 ) Pay no heed to the way you treat others. Forget who your real friends are, and disown your family. Harbour bitter, long-standing grudges against other people, and never, ever, try and see things from another person’s perspective. Always be rude and disrespectful.

9) Rampantly cheat on your lover, and then lie through your teeth to them about it. Use your perceived  status to use up and hurt both your lover and those you cheat on your lover with.

10) Pay no attention to your financials; just let someone deal with that because you are an Artist and it is beneath you to have to think about money. Then, expect to always have all of your material needs met, at no cost to yourself, even when you have done nothing to earn this. Get angry, throw public tantrums and lay blame every which way but on yourself when you don’t get what you want immediately.

11) Make it clear to your fellow musicians that you alone are the star of the show. Get rid of any great musicians who have the balls to upstage you, or stand up to you and threaten your out-of-control, massively insecure ego. Resolutely keep using any crap musicians that you like to have around because they can somehow manage to swallow your bullshit (and smile while they chew), even if it’s obvious that they have absolutely no talent.

12) Blindly believe that your music is perfect in every way, and that anyone who provides you with any constructive criticism is a moronic philistine with bad taste and no idea about anything. Let the praises of the easily impressionable bloat your feelings of self-worth until you are in danger of bursting.

13) When things aren’t going your way, give into self-defeatism and depression, crawl into your hole, and self-medicate the pain away.

14) As the years slip past without any real progress being made, begin to foster massive feelings of cancerous resentment against the world and everyone in it. Let bitterness be your guide as you feel the disease of  long-term disappointment  stagnate in your veins and your heart grow black with despair.

15) Learn to counter your feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing by negatively  criticizing others. Try to keep your gasping ego alive through feeble attempts to make yourself look better at other people’s expense.

16) When you have children, project your limiting beliefs onto them from an early age so that they may follow in your footsteps and likewise become masters of Zen and The Art Of NOT Becoming A Rock Star.

17) Die at an early age a broken, substance abusing, unhappy soul without a friend in the world and a family who hates your guts – because you were always nasty to them and don’t have any money to leave them when you go.

I sure as hell am. Didn’t stop me getting on one though…

I have a new two-part tale of high horseback adventure up over at LivingNow.com.au

How To Conquer Your Fear of Abandonment (and Horses) Part One

and Part Two is here … but it would be just plain contrary of you to start there

Hope you enjoy!

Seamus

By Seamus Anthony

Did you know you can practice meditation in pretty much any situation?

If you lead a busy life and find it hard to make time to meditate, then you might like to try meditating while you get some “mindless” chores done. I do it when I am washing the dishes. Here’s how …

Turning Mindless Chores into Mindful Chores

We usually think of housework as being pretty mindless work. That’s why some people like it, they find it relaxing, and why others (like me) hate it. I dislike it because I would much rather be somehow engaging the grey matter a bit more (by doing something creative).

Why do I feel the desire to be doing something more creative? Because I have an idea in my head that this is more worthwhile – but the truth is no action is more or less worthwhile in life – they are just what they are no more no less.

I know this in theory – but nevertheless I have always tended to get frustrated and irritable when doing household chores. That’s why (as my wonderful, long-suffering partner will attest) I avoid them like the plague.

And that was how I intended to live my life out; I never really thought I’d come to a place in life like I am now where the amount of household work I am required to do has massively increased.

Newsflash: Children Create Havoc, Mess and LOTS of Housework!

Seriously, as we were wistfully looking at the growing bump and contemplating names for the impending bundle of joy, I never for a moment twigged that with the joy of becoming a father would come a gigantic increase in the amount of crap that needs doing around the home.

It creeps up on you too, at first having a little bubs seemed like a walk in the park, all she did was sleep, eat and poop. But now, as she enthusiastically carves a path of destruction towards her first birthday, I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time wiping, washing and tidying up. And that’s just me, save your sympathy for my darling partner. As I type away in some kind of warped attempt at breadwinning, I can see her out my window hanging yet another load of washing out to dry. It just never stops – and we’ve only got one kid!

Yeah, So Like, Whatever Gramps – What About the Meditation Lesson Already?

Oh right, sorry. Got carried away.

Mindfulness is a term used to describe the process of focussing only on what it is that you are doing now in the present moment. This skill is pretty much the basic skill of meditation (although there will be various opinions on this statement no doubt).

So whether you’re processing customers at the fast-food counter, perfecting a new skateboard move, coding the next Facebook, or in my (sad) case, doing endless piles of dishes, you can quite realistically meditate while you work.

Here’s the ‘Housework Meditation’ technique:

1. Focus only on the task at hand
2. And your breathing
3. Breathe normally, just pay attention to it
4. And the task at hand
5. Try and catch yourself when you start thinking about something else, something irrelevant to the task at hand
6. Then – without berating yourself for losing concentration – move your focus back to the task at hand
7. repeat until the task is done.

Boring – But Beneficial

Remembering that the idea is to remain focussed on your task as much as possible, this process will be easy if you are enjoying what you are doing, or if it requires a lot of concentration.

It may prove more challenging if the job you are doing is dull, repetitive and, in itself, not challenging, but the benefits for practising this “moving meditation” are plentiful.

• You will do the job better (and potentially faster).
• You will be exercising your “focus muscle”, i.e. your ability to concentrate.
• And, with any luck, you will hopefully notice an increased level of relaxation and inner peace.

This last benefit is why I try to practice meditation while I do the dishes. Otherwise my irritation at this never-ending, boring chore starts to wind me up and before I know it my mind takes this bad attitude and runs with it. Next thing you know I am seething about “what she said” and “what he did”, and this kind of thinking my friends, is bad news. Very bad news indeed.

On the other hand if (on a good night) I manage to relax and clear my mind of bullshit while I clean those (wonderful, lovely) pots and pans, I find myself infused with a Universal perspective and a sense of gratitude. Then when I turn around to see that the little horror bundle-of-joy has created some gigantic mess and the darling wife is losing the plot over it, I am more likely to be able to help diffuse the situation with my, like, totally Zen energy (maaan).

Any interesting ways and places that you like to meditate? Tell us all about them in the comments section below, and don’t forget to go here to get your free e-book (by me, it’s quite good).

It happens to all of us doesn’t it?

You finally get the time to sit down to read a good book, write a new blog post or meditate when Mr Jones next door decides it’s time to mow the lawn, then go around the edges with his edge-trimmer, then use the leaf-blower to blow the clippings into the gutter – even though he did it all just last week.

Great.

Ju-u-ust perfect.

In this scenario you have two options.

No wait, three, but physical violence is against the law so we’ll focus on the other two:

1) Get Mad and Burn Up Inside.

2) Get Mad, Then Find A Way To Quickly Diffuse That Anger

We’ll get into these in a moment but first…

What Are The Lawnmowers In Your Life?

Lawnmowers are just my pet hate – but the things that get you all riled up inside might be different. Maybe the way your partner talks to you when they’re in a bad mood, or the way your boss treats you or just the irritating habits of the guy who sits across the desk from you at work.

So passing the “Lawnmower Test” means effectively dealing with the anger or irritation you feel when your ‘lawnmower’ pushes your buttons.

Whatever your pet hates are, the question is – how comfortable are you with the way you respond when your buttons are pushed? Are you OK with getting pissed off and silently raging away when the lawnmowers start up? Or is this something you want to transcend?

I am not writing this article as an ‘expert’, but as a seeker. I’d love to be able to transcend my grumpiness. I have become waaaay more “zen” than I used to be, and a lot of things don’t irritate me anywhere near as much as they used to, but gee, it would be nice to be able to go all smiling-Buddha every time my crazy neighbour decides to give his gigantic field another crew cut.

Let’s have another look at our options…

Option 1- Get Mad and Burn Up Inside

This is the easiest response and it’s probably our default option. I know it is for me.

(By the way as I type this some numbskull is trimming the weeds in the large field behind me. Two doors away some other monkey is using a drill or something. The noise is insane.)

I am sure it isn’t good for us, but I find it very difficult not to get, well – not mad as such – but grumpy and irritated.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that but I would love it if I could somehow “not-care” when the lawnmowers start.

Option 2 – Get Mad, Then Find A Way To Quickly Diffuse That Anger

This is more challenging, but better for our long term health and happiness.

By the way, I think it is unrealistic to try and not get irritated by your Pet Hate at all – let’s stay real here – but how do you quickly diffuse the rage? Here are some options:

Deep breathing

I find this really helps.

I will be explaining a fantastic technique for effective deep breathing in our upcoming e-book, so be sure to sign up for free email or RSS updates in the box at the bottom of this article, that way we can tell you when the e-book is ready.

Move Away from the Problem

Easy solution – but what happens when you can’t? When you have work to do? Or when you have responsibilities to face up to?

For example I could just pack up shop right now and put a couple of miles between me and Edge Trimmer Man, but I have so much work to do and I love my work and I have a family to feed, so it’s not going to happen.

The same applies when you find yourself wanting to strangle your husband or wife – in the nicest possible way of course! You can’t just up and leave like that – there are kids to take care of, finances to get in order and friends coming over for dinner or whatever.

So while moving away from your Lawnmower makes sense if you can, it’s not always an option.

Dwell In the Angst

This has really helped me from time to time. What I do is sit down and just totally focus on how massively pissed off I am. I let the issue totally consume me, and my anger too (but I am not allowed to get off my chair).

Eventually, somehow, it seems to work that the issue just doesn’t get to me after a while. Maybe there’s only so far you can go with this kind of response to external irritants before the anger just naturally runs its course.

Let it Flow then Let it Go

If nobody is around I yell and swear for all I’m worth. Then I drop it.

I read about this in “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” years ago and I remember it made me laugh because growing up in a big Irish family this “technique” is just the norm. Except people didn’t care who was around; that wasn’t a limiting factor.

It sounds like I am joking but seriously, we’d yell and rant and rave and storm off to our rooms and slam the door behind us.

Then ten minutes later we’d walk out as if nothing had happened. Everyone was cool again and never a grudge was held in all these years.

Talk About It

I used to hate namby-pamby advice like this, but I have recently come to realise that I had a typical (and unhelpful) male habit of keeping my worries to myself until I boiled over. I have come to realise that while we may feel a bit awkward at first, if we blokes just bite the bullet and discuss issues like adult Human Beings it really helps to alleviate internal rage.

Just don’t confuse a monologue for communication.

And while you’re at it, don’t confuse “talking about it” for complaning and moaning.

As an older boy told me once during a wet and miserable school camp: “Nobody likes a whinger mate”.

(Do people use the term ‘whinger’ in the United States? If not, it means a person who whines and moans all the time.)

I would love to hear your strategies for diffusing anger and irritation in the comments section – for example, what about diet? Can changes made in that area improve our ability to become “unflappable?”

By Seamus Anthony

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you start out with a really punchy list of awesome things that are going to get done and then it all goes pear-shaped?

Well, I am in the middle one right now and it’s been a darn good litmus tester for all the Zen waffle I spout, let me tell you…

Entrepreneurial Action Stations – Go! Go! Go!

The week started out looking like it was going to be a corker, I had two articles coming out, one about The Way of Retreat over at the Change Blog and another about meditation over at Pick The Brain. Next in line was the release of a new e-book here at Rebel Zen, not the Curly’s Law one featured up top right (you should grab that now if you haven’t already), but one on Meditation (with a twist).

Then we (as in Steve, my business partner and I) were planning to finally launch PeoplePages for our client LivingNow. Only Steve has been struggling through great swathes of jungle-like code (or whatever that impenetrable babbling is behind the scenes here at the Internet-show) which incidentally is why he hasn’t written for this blog for a while.

On top of that we have another very exciting project we are about to launch (It’s hush for now but not for long) and I am getting back out there and resuming playing my songs live again tonight.

Enter the Tradesmen…

Just to add a bit of extra spice to the mix, we begin renovating our house this week. Anybody who’s been through that before might already be able to guess where all of this is heading.

So that we may be fabulous this Australian summer, we are getting a lovely deck added out front, which requires rewiring the house first and running the main cable under ground.

The electrician assured me it would be far cheaper to call in a specialist digger to dig the trench. So I do so, and in he comes with his mean looking machine and I tell him exactly where we need the trench dug and go in to get back to work.

After twenty minutes of pretty much failing to get anything significant done due to the racket, I notice the internet has stopped working so I figure it’s just having a moment and decide to get up and see how the great trenching expedition is faring.

Not too well by the worried looked furrowing the digger’s brow as he stares at the ground, mumbling to himself.

As I am walking over to see what’s up, I notice that the straight trench I asked for has turned into a kind of a Z pattern: straight across my drive, then down one side of it, then across the outside of the front fence line.

As I walk up I see he is holding up a length of severed wiring about two inches thick.

“I guess that’s why my internet isn’t working then”, I venture, genius that I am.

Why he went around the front of the fence line I never figured out, why he didn’t just do as asked I never figured out. But I pretty quickly figured out that it was going to be my job to spend half a day on the phone to the main telephone infrastructure provider over here in Australia trying to get them to get it fixed.

It took several hours for a telco-man to rock up, look at the issue, (while the digger hid behind a tree, I might add), spend an hour on the phone talking about it with a large population sample of Melbourne, tell me we have taken out the whole street and then drive off, without any reassurance as to when somebody was going to fix it.

Business As Usual on The Eastern Front (Not!)

Meanwhile, the electrician rocked up, got into a barny with the digger, and made him re-dig the trench the way it was supposed to be done in the first place, which resulted in our driveway looking not unlike a scene out of Mel Gibson’s ‘Galippoli’.

I figure at least I can write some stuff up on Microsoft word, but then the digger tips his bulky great machine over on to its side, ten minutes after the electrician and his burly apprentice had left. The next hour and a half is spent helping him to get it upright again.

Fast forward three days, mostly spent dealing with more shenanigans of this sort, and generally keeping everybody onside in the way that trades and service men like (if you want to get anything like a good job done). This means spending many precious moments listening to their (mostly disparaging) opinions on everything from tradesmen of other varieties to “all that computer stuff”. Oh, and making coffee.

(By the way, rigorous testing on my behalf has revealed that ALL tradies without exception have theirs “white with two”. Unfortunately it wasn’t until this morning that I realised that if you run out of cow’s milk and offer soy instead, they will all decline enthusiastically. Our household no longer stocks dairy, apparently it’s bad for you.)

… and no internet until this morning.

Ground Yourself in a Sense of the Greater Perspective

Now it would be a lie to say that I spent these last three days stomping around in a terrible mood due to the frustration of it all, after all, I don’t do all this personal development jazz for nothing.

It would also be a lie to say that I didn’t have a knot in my stomach that was becoming increasingly bothersome. “Just so much to do and so little getting done!” I felt like screaming as tradesman after tradesman rocked up at random and proceeded to waste half an hour of my time over nothing much. But I didn’t scream, I took some extra time with my little bubs, and did some meditative-breathing-in-action while contemplating the frolicsome sounds of springtime whipper-snippers and swearing tradesmen.

If Nothing On Your To-Do List Gets Done, Does It Really Matter?

When I finally logged on again today at home without the imposed rush of the interim library computer session I realised that yesterday was world Blog Action Day (or something like that) and the topic was Poverty.

This made me feel glad that I didn’t let all my little frustrations and dramas get to me too much, and that I managed to keep a sense of greater perspective about it all. It’s important to keep it real because, with the exception of those who experience major life-tragedies, the kinds of trials that all of us (whether we are working, middle or upper class) go through are Mickey Mouse compared to those suffering the plight of poverty, war and injustice.

And anyway, I am back online now and we are looking forward to releasing our new e-book early next week. Please opt-in below for your free updates by RSS or email or join our mailing list (and get another e-book free) so we can let you know when it’s ready.

By Séamus Anthony

Ever wondered how some people manage to get up before the sun to meditate and exercise? Well, let me categorically confirm that I’m no expert, but recent* experiments have shown that three elements are integral: persistence, patience and good humour. Without these you might as well stick with the sleep in!

The Frozen Buddha

With strains of classical music the clock radio burst to life. What was my first thought? – “I must be insane”.

I have this year resolved not to wimp out during the frosty months but to rise despite the cold – which frankly, I despise – and do my meditation, chi gung, and exercise routine at dawn.

First thing.

In the face of my every screaming instinct.

Shivering, I stumbled out of the bedroom at 5:11am (to avoid beginning my day with an earful of bad news, I never set the alarm to go off on the hour). I then proceeded to have rather a funny time of it. Apparently, this was my day to have my persistence, patience and good humour well and truly tested.

I sat on my chair in the study and began my chi gung sitting meditation, but the little blanket I had over my lap just wasn’t cutting it. I was in serious danger of turning into some kind of Buddha shaped ice-sculpture. I collected my chi, stayed calm, and moved to sit in the living room where there is an old gas wall-heater. I turned the heater on and it cranked up with its usual cacophony of pops, clicks, and groans, all magnificently loud in the stillness.

My pets decided this was their cue to come and hang out.

The cat, Mimi, I can handle; besides, getting rid of her is only possible by putting her outside, which would mean getting up again. However, the dog, Dude, was too large for the space between my knees and the heater – and anyway, he smells. Thankfully, we have an established rapport. One grunt and he was back on his bed. The thing is, he’s gigantic and his bed is a very noisy beanbag.

As Dude turned around about 20 times, I practised my patience and ‘letting go’ until he finally lay down and went back to sleep. Part of his ‘going back to sleep ritual’ is making slurping noises with his mouth – God knows why – so I had the pleasure of listening to that for a few minutes. Meanwhile, far from contemplating the divine, I began to make plans for that meditation and hard-to-catch-DVD-dialogue-disturbing beanbag … plans involving a large truck, one with robot arms on the side.

Just as I am thinking this – the very same garbage truck pulls up outside my house and starts its robot-arm-whirring, wheelie-bin crashing racket.

Oh, the synchronicity if it all.

“I am patience, persistence, and good humour. I am patience, persistence, and good humour”, I silently repeat, not very good-humouredly.

Meanwhile I have warmed up nicely. The cat, surprisingly, decides to leave me alone for once.

Then, I start falling asleep.

Not actually asleep, just drowsy due to the heater, which means my thoughts are heading off into la-la-land. I turn the heater down, which sets it off popping and creaking again. I start counting my breaths to keep my focus up, but keep wandering off into noddy-land again and again. An old hand at this, I relax and patiently bring myself back to my breath awareness, often having to guess which number breath I was at.

Eventually – hallelujah! I reach that sweet point of meditation where my mind opens wide and the connection with Tao has been made (Tao is God, universal consciousness, spirit – there are countless names). Bliss and clarity are achieved; total contentment. Internal chattering calms and a direct sensation of transcendent love flood my senses. It feels fantastic. This energy relaxes and heals on three levels: physical, mental, and spiritual.

Sound good? The cool thing is that this experience is available to anyone who seeks it out, and it’s free.

After enjoying this for ten minutes I get up to do my standing chi gung. I have been aware for a while that Mimi has been padding around the house in a hurry. I am just beginning my stretches when she comes and starts doing the leg-rubbing thing. I don’t mind this. I am in fact very used to it. I have a theory that purring cats emit good chi. So I usually just let her do her thing until she gets bored and wanders away.

This morning, however, she keeps trotting around the house, then coming back, running off, and then returning until I realise what’s happening. The house is closed up on account of the cold and she wants to pee! I hear her scratching the carpet in the spare room, and I know that if I don’t open a door and let her out then she is very soon going to do it inside.

I breathe in, collect my chi, see the humour of it and let her out. That makes two mornings she has disturbed my stretching routine. Yesterday was more dramatic. I was outside (it wasn’t as cold) and was getting the usual leg rubbing from her as I bent and stretched. No problem. Then all of a sudden I felt four sets of claws digging into my back – she’d had gotten some kind of a fright or tried to swipe at an insect or something and had decided to use my back as a climbing wall!

Well, that threw me. Chi flying off in all directions, I lost my cool, turned and barked at her in a very dog-like manner. She fled, stopped a few feet away and promptly resumed looking totally unruffled, casually stretching and giving her paw a bit of a lick. I had to smile. Cats are the indisputable Zen masters of suburbia. I collected my chi and resumed my practice.

As for the rest of this morning, I went for a jog despite the Antarctic weather, did my other exercises, and never quite lost my rag with it all. Now I sit here smug in the knowledge that I have – on this day at least – proved to myself that I can be the person I want to be: persistent, patient and good humoured.

As for tomorrow? Ask me that at 5:11am!

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*I have to admit that this article is actually a couple of years old and originally appeared in Australia’s LivingNow magazine – I gave up on all that early morning shit ages ago. It’s for the birds…

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Well back on board after the weekend and just spent a few minutes reading some cool stuff before retiring for the day. As the hail pelts down on my little bungalow in the mountains, here’s five posts that I reckon are worth your time:

8 Great Anti-Hacks to Fundamentally Change Your Life

This is some Rebel Zen in action right here. An anti-productivity rant from Clay Collins of Project Liberation and The Growing Life that advises us to “be flaky and denounce the cult of permanence”.

Sound advice that, denouncing the delusion of immortality that is, which leads me to my next recommendation for the day:

Death and Happiness – a Paradigm Shift for the West

This is a powerful article that reminds us all not to forget that at any time now we may die. I’ll let Steve Jobs sum up my opinion on this matter:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

The Four Secrets to a (nearly) Perfect Relationship

But for now, we are alive, and that means getting along with people, not least our significant others (you know, the ones who think that all this blogging business is a bit weird and wish you’d just come inside already and help with baby? … oh, maybe that’s just mine … ). Anyway great tips here from Rebel Zen Master extraordinaire Jonathan Mead … although tread carefully around that ‘dog tip’ guys if you know what’s good for you

If you DO use the dog tip, and it just so happens to screw up your relationship and you find yourself all alone and penniless as a result, just read this following article and remember that …

Failure is a Blessing

An excellent story and gift to the reader from Stephen Cox, a talented writer from Sydney, Australia … the ‘other’ Aussie city

As you rebuild your life and go back over what went wrong – be sure to take my advice and let it go

This is a sentiment shared by Harmony over at Golden Zen, who gives us this fine list of ways to do just that:

7 Top Tips on How to Let Go

Speaking of which, time for me to let go of the mouse and go have dinner. Enjoy!