Comments on: The Personal Development Dilemma: Striving Vs Self-Acceptance

By: Are You Neglecting Your Inner Child? | Rebel Zen

Are You Neglecting Your Inner Child? | Rebel Zen — Sun, 30 May 2010 01:03:09 +0000

[...] as well as currently feeling a very strong need to set new stretch-challenges for myself (see this post, which I will be writing an update on soon) I am also feeling a strong calling to allow myself more [...]

By: Warning: Self-Indulgent Post About ‘Me’ Not ‘You’! | Rebel Zen

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 01:02:31 +0000

[...] little while back I wrote in this post about how I felt the need to set myself some new goals and generally recalibrate my life direction. [...]

By: kirby

kirby — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 15:47:11 +0000

Balance : a state of equilibrium
where none exists given human nature. We are actually striving for it and in the that state as it passes through us. our commentary just descibes static experiences as if time, the world, and ourselves are not changing in order to analyze it. We speak in generalities, but live in detail.

Question: Can I strive to be self accepting and can I just “coast” getting what I want? sometimes?
I like to think so. seems like 4 dimensions to me. not all or none, not exclusive it just makes us feel better and not go crazy to “set” our world as stable.
love the postings.

By: The Personal Development Dilemma Part 2: Publicly Announce Your Big Dreams or Keep Them To Yourself? | Rebel Zen

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 20:57:48 +0000

[...] (Here’s the first in this series) [...]

By: Seamus Anthony

Seamus Anthony — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:56:31 +0000

Hi Joe,

Yes, we seem to have similar issues, back in the 90s we called ourselves Slackers rather than Coasters, but same diff. So all I can really add to this is that you shouldn’t freak out about wasting time, but rather chip away at it with focus because at 23 you have time up your sleeve in spades. BUT that time goes so fast. So choose your goal and take the long way around, don’t look for shortcuts, and try not to let other projects sidetrack you … or else you’ll end up like me

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 06:19:55 +0000

Dude. Wow.

So many things you said there just ring so true for me. You’ve given some real form to this personal battle that’s been raging inside of me, mostly subconciously, for a long time. A lot of the things I read here were hard to swallow, but I know that’s just because they’re so right on the mark for me, and I’ve been avoiding ‘em for so long.

I definitely tend toward the self-satisfied “everything’s cool, man” attitude. I’ve been that way ever since my last couple years of high school (I’m 23 now), when I started hanging around people who I like to call “coasters”. We coasters just coast through life without much effort at all. Lazy stoners, basically. I think being “cool with it” has made me like myself… actually, scratch that. It’s made other people like me, which is a great boost to my confidence.

Yet… there is, and has been for a long time, this nagging voice in the back of my mind. It’s as much a fear of growing old and thinking about all that missed opportunity as it is a dream for something more. Something bigger. And that’s been very, very hard to reconcile with my “the Dude abides” type behaviour.

It would be easy to blame my stoner mates for “holding me back”, but that would be the weak way out. Besides, I fucking love my mates.

Recently, my “coasting” has been becoming more apparent to me as a cover-up for my fear of change. I even put off reading my personal development blogs, just letting the posts accumulate in my feeder. Until today, when for some reason (the Universe or some shit?) I just said “fuck it” and started catching up on my old favourite, Rebel Zen. I’m real glad I did.

Anyway, thanks for putting my feelings into words so perfectly. It feels like you’ve climbed into my brain and gathered up all the bullshit and tossed it out, plain for me to see. It’s real encouraging to know there are others who have been where I am right now. It can get lonely in here sometimes.

I feel like I owe you something now. Want a drawing? Hit me up.

By: Seamus Anthony

Seamus Anthony — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:27:44 +0000

Thank you Sarah – I also think a bit of tension is a good thing. I’d get pretty bored if I just decided to leave everything at the status quo. One thing I think I didn’t explain very clearly in this article is that I was really talking about the extremes of the scale. About how sometimes it is good to be really, really into striving and sometimes just the opposite. So although we all know balance between the two is good, I don’t think that JUST that is good. At least not for me. OR maybe it IS good but I just aint that kind of guy – I dunno.

Meanwhile sorry for commentluv being all screwy. I appreciate the free service they provide but not the way they go about asking you to update. Seems a bit draconian and well, dysfunctional, really. What if your whole blog went down every time you didn’t update wordpress? Oh well, we’ll fix it soon enough, not exactly number one on the priority list…

By: Sara at On Simplicity

Sara at On Simplicity — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 06:33:19 +0000

Damn! You nailed it here! I cycle through phases on this... or perhaps it's more like a spectrum. The switch tends to happen pretty naturally, often coming out of boredom with the status quo. But there's always that tension tugging at the back of my mind, and to be honest, I think it's probably a good thing to ponder every now and then. Actively thinking about that balance between striving and self acceptance is like recalibrating the scales. Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..The Personal Development Dilemma: Striving Vs Self-Acceptance

By: Seamus Anthony

Seamus Anthony — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 11:32:03 +0000

Excellent comments all, thank you for taking the time to add your thoughts, they have helped me get more out of my original thought process.

By: Evan

Evan — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:33:35 +0000

Self-acceptance is not self-image acceptance. These are different things. Self-acceptance includes our childish egotism, desires to be the guru, our viciousness and pettiness, trivial ambitions and much worse besides. Our striving (however pathetic we may judge it to be) IS who we are. Evans last blog post..The Personal Development Dilemma: Striving Vs Self-Acceptance