Are you pretty ambitious?

I am. And it’s okay – some of us are just wired up that way.

But the question struck me the other day – and not for the first time – why?

Is it because you want ‘more’ or because you want ‘less’?

I am willing to place a bet that you often just think about getting more. (It’s okay – so do I.)

If only you had a bit more money.

If only you had a slightly bigger house.

If only you had more time.

If only you had a more exciting career.

If only you enjoyed more health.

Yadda yadda yadda.

But here’s the rub. I was walking the dog other day, through the beautiful mountainous, forested region where I live and suddenly I realized that I was frowning, staring at the ground, going over and over the question: How I can get “more”.

What the fuck?

I should have been looking around! Enjoying a Zen-out walking session!

“Why do you always want more?” I berated myself.

Then Poof!

I realised that the paradoxical reason I always want more is …

Because I want less!

And I bet it’s the same for you.

You want more money so you can spend less time worrying about money, doing your boring job and putting up with nitpicking tossers.

You want a bigger house so you can spend less time feeling like everyone in your household is in your face.

You want more time so you can spend less time doing shit you hate.

You want an exciting career so you can spend less time doing shit you hate.

You want better health so that you can spend less time worrying about your health and perhaps, feeling embarrassed about your appearance.

And this is all well and good. It’s just the way it is.

BUT we must remember that when we get more – it usually doesn’t end up being less. More money brings more responsibility. A bigger house needs more maintenance and cleaning. More health means more exercise.

And so you see: Less actually is more,

…but more isn’t always less.

When I bought my house just over four years ago, the area behind the back shed was an absolute mess. There were weeds taller than I am, an old incinerator and rusty pieces of discarded metal poking out of the ground and out from under piles of rubbish.

Although I had never gardened much before (you tend to only do the bare minimum when renting), I saw this overlooked and mistreated piece of land as the perfect place to start a veggie garden. It got plenty of sun, I could catch water from the shed roof for a rain tank, and the weeds obviously loved it, so I supposed carrots, potatoes and tomatoes would as well.

It took me a few weekends, but I eventually cleared the area, made garden beds, set up a compost bin and I was on my way.  Over the past 4 years, having a vegetable garden has given me such knowledge and enjoyment, things that I would not have ever thought of. It is one of the most basic things we can do to feel some kind of connection to nature and the seasons.

Most people growing up in today’s society have absolutely no idea what goes into the planting, growth and care of some of the most common things that we eat each day. By becoming so disconnected from the way our food is produced, we lose perspective of the vast amount of resources that must go into feeding the 6 billion plus denizens of our planet.

Another benefit is that you get to taste what real food should taste like, and not the factory farmed, tasteless and artificially ripened versions that they sell at the local supermarket. Growing your own food is an empowering thing, and a skill that more people should have.

The list of benefits goes on. There is a sense of community when you share the surplus that you have grown with your friends and neighbors. There are fewer relaxing, Zen like moments than the time taken of an evening to go out and water your plants.

Hey, so i know this posts sounds like an advertisement for ‘Gardeners Warehouse’ or something, but seriously, find a patch of land, or even a pot that you can plant something in and give it a go. You will be surprised at the results.

Image by Laura & Garrett

As you get a little bit older year-by-year you may find that your responsibilities seem to grow and grow, and so too does your desire to meet these responsibilities head on. Which is all very well, and probably for the best, but at what cost to your Inner Child and therefore your happiness and enjoyment of the moment?

When I was in my twenties I didn’t give a stuff about anything I was apparently “supposed” to do and happily left all practical matters to chance in order to give myself the time to enjoy doing the things I wanted to do (from the noble, like create fine music, to the less-noble, which we won’t go into now thank you very much).

Oh … ok, one story of my bad behaviour – but then straight to bed you hear kiddies?

The Other Extreme: Spoiling Your Inner-Child

My Dad went halves with me to buy my first car, nothing flash mind you, but we both put in $750 each which was a lot of money for both of us. I had an awesome time in my little run-around, flying all over town whooping it up, but after a year or so it started crying out for a bit of TLC. It needed oil and a tune-up, but that was far too bothersome for my 21 year old mind to focus on, so I just drove that baby right into the ground. I will never forget the noises it used to make as you turned a corner: some very disturbing, dry grinding sounds would emanate from the engine, along with a little black smoke and a worrying perfume.

Then the poor old thing just wouldn’t start one morning so I swore, shrugged and caught a bus, leaving the car in the driveway to sort its own problems out.

About six months later my folks came for a rare visit to our share-house (bomb-site more like it) and my dear old Pa just about had a heart attack when he saw what appeared to be the roof of a car poking out from amongst a particularly impressive weed patch.

Needless to say he never gave me money for a car again.

Inner Children Need Love Too

Well fast -forward fifteen years and while I am certainly no saint, I am far more responsible. And so I should be; I have a (real) child to bring up after all.

But while when I was younger I was far too obsessed with spending all my time engrossed in creative and fun activities, these days I have to watch that I don’t swing to the other extreme and just spend all day and most of the night grinding through “important” task after task at the expense of being creative for the hell of it. I need to remember that I actually have two children to look after; it’s just that the one inside my heart isn’t as persistently vocal about getting the attention it craves!

For sure, some of my tasks are inherently fun, and I am working very hard towards earning a full-time living doing stuff that I either enjoy or at least don’t despise, but nevertheless, I now find it very hard just to pick up my guitar and strum away for an hour or two for no immeditate purpose or gain other than creative enjoyment. I do it, but not as often as I used to, and not with as much guilt-free abandon as I used to.

And this is sad.

Why? Because if we don’t allow the Inner Child in us to have free reign over our time on a regular basis, then it will only lead to misery and premature aging. I am sure of it.

I am writing this now because as well as currently feeling a very strong need to set new stretch-challenges for myself (see this post, which I will be writing an update on soon) I am also feeling a strong calling to allow myself more time to enjoy doing creative things purely for the sake of it, just because it is what I most love to do.

Of course being creative is just my way of having fun; your Inner Child might prefer to take you skydiving or down to the water to catch a delicious Bass but I think that as the world constantly bombards us with messages of fear and worry about money and security, that it’s really important to leave it all in the office on a regular basis and just have some carefree fun.

It’s not a revolutionary concept, I know, but – damn – it’s an easy one to let slide ain’t it?
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Should you strive to change your habits, your circumstances, your whole life?

Or should you enjoy increased inner-peace by accepting who you are right now, unconditionally so you can relax and enjoy the moment?

I find life to be a constant tension between these two approaches, and I can’t help but notice that in what we loosely call the “personal development” field there are many pushers of both ways towards inner satisfaction.

I have for a while now leaned heavily in favor of the “Zen” path of warts-and-all self-acceptance of yourself and have been scornful of the Tony Robbins “go-get-em-tiger” school of hyped up motivation and the “follow-these-sacred-rules-and-kiss-my-Guru-ass” schools of overtly serious and holy spirituality.

That’s the attitude we founded Rebel Zen on: a different, down-to-Earth, street-savvy approach to Enlightenment and Worldly Success – and God help us if we ever lose sight of this mission because in my opinion it’s what is sorely needed.

BUT…

The other night I was awake at about 4 in the morning and a thought struck me like a punch in the face.

As I sat there next to the cot, trying to coax my little 1 year old daughter to go back to sleep, my mind was racing through things in a semi-conscious way and I suddenly realised that if I kept going down the path I am on, of comfortable self-acceptance, then I am quickly going to turn into on of those mouldy middle-age dudes who is stuck in a nice comfortable rut and has lost his edge.

What I mean by this is – unless I decide to change some things then, while the good things in my life will probably stay good (and there is plenty of that for which I am infinitely grateful), the BAD stuff will GET WORSE.

Example: I don’t exercise enough and my pot belly is inching its way forward day-by-day and my muscles are fading bit-by-bit. And that shit don’t get better – it gets WORSE.

Example: I STILL haven’t learned to speak French very well even though my partner and her family speak it around me all the time and we want our children to speak it also. And that shit don’t get easier – it gets HARDER.

And there are more examples, but that will suffice for now!

Why Do You Read Personal Development Stuff?

Is it because you want drastic change in your life or because you want to learn how to be happy now as you are?

In my case, more than ten years ago, I got into meditation and personal development because I desperately needed to change my ways and figure out “what it’s all about”. Once I had tempered my self-destruction a fair bit and developed a model of the Meaning of Life (links to my old model which needs a revamp as according to this post here) I then stepped into a different mode, the above mentioned mode of just chillin’ and accepting myself as being perfect even though I am human and regularly fuck things up and then some. (I have, as you can see, learned a little French at least!)

It’s a Yin Yang Thing

It probably won’t blow your mind to hear me say that I reckon we need a bit of both in life, we need to strive to achieve and meanwhile we need to accept our lot as is, be grateful for the gifts we enjoy and be happy now. But the Yin Yang model isn’t about just hovering in a static place in perfect balance, it is about moving through different ratios. A good example of what I mean is day and night: at one point of the 24 hour cycle it is brightest, at another it is darkest, and during the rest of the cycle we are bathed in degrees of light and dark mixed together.

So what I am getting at is sometimes we need to swing to extremes and there is nothing wrong with this. My friend and Rebel Zen business partner Steve, calls it ‘Dynamic Balance’. He is a classic for it, sometimes he won’t write a post here for months because he is immersed in another project. Then when it’s done he moves back into a more generalist space.

The reason for this long-winded post is that I have come to the realization that I need to move into an “extreme” phase now. A period of Striving for Big Changes. It’s just what I need to do and to be honest I am a little scared because it means I am going to set myself up for possible failure.

To add an extra element of craziness to the mix, I am going to document this process here at Rebel Zen. I have no details yet, but hopefully it will be of benefit to you and your progression through this kooky old life. Meanwhile let’s just finish off with a quick look at the two polar dynamics of personal development:

Striving and Self-Acceptance

There are certainly advantages and disadvantages to both extremes…

Striving – the Pros

• Can result in lasting change for the better
• You CAN be healthier, richer, happier, more productive, a greater contributor to the problems facing society than you are now
• and such success CAN bring you increased enjoyment of life
• Tomorrow DOES come and the seeds you sow today … you know the rest

Striving – the Cons

• Can set you up for failure and disappointment
• Can lead to unhealthy obsession and alienate you from your family and friends
• Can distract you from enjoying the moment and being happy now (’now’ being the only reality you will ever actually experience)
• Can bring negative effects of stress into your life, eg. reduced immune system functionality

Self-Acceptance – the Pros

• Can be a huge weight off your shoulders
• That allows you to Just Be Happy Now (no mean feat)
• Gives you a lightness of heart and a self-confidence that is a pleasure for yourself and others to behold
• Attracts luck your way because your positive vibes make people want to work with you and help you
• Helps others because you stop focusing on your own perceived problems and start reaching out with compassion

Self-Acceptance – the Cons

• you run the ‘danger’ of becoming stuck in your own self-satisfied rut, i.e. you can become very mouldy
• you may actually only be so full of self-acceptance because you live in a very sweet situation day-to-day. Therefore if the shit hits the fan, will your enlightened state persevere or will you succumb to stress, self-pity and fear?
• You may be underestimating yourself and settling for a lesser contribution to society than you could be making
• You may be deluding yourself – you may in fact have actually given up on your dreams and are masking your own deep, sad sense of disappointment in yourself and life with a veneer of false self-satisfaction.

Well that’s all for me for now but this is certainly the beginning of a series of posts exploring these themes and setting myself up for some kind of public challenge.

What are your thoughts on these ideas?

A short, sharp shock here and there, even an unpleasant one, can be a very powerful motivator. If you let go of your naturally defensive reactions and ‘look for the gift’, you may just find that the situation brings unexpected rewards.

The other evening I was walking to a party with some friends when I was very nearly hit by a moving car. It was traveling at a fair whack, and I would say it most likely would have been curtains for me had I been struck.

I didn’t even see it – I was jaywalking in front of some cars that were idling at the intersection and I didn’t realise that the left-turn arrow was green. The car was rushing to make the lights, and the first thing I knew about it was the sensation of something very large passing very quickly very close to my backside. My friends hollered at me to be careful, and the car pulled over. The young lads in it gave me some lip about watching where I was walking. They were rightfully angry; I wasn’t using my head (it was in the clouds).

So there you have it – one minute I was fine, the next … well, happy to say, I was still fine. But it was the first reminder I’ve had in while as to the fleeting nature of our existence, our inevitable impending demise.

Uh-huh, I’m talking ’bout the D-word, baby!

I first started meditating after reading a book that urged the reader to consider carefully the unavoidable – death, and the unpredictability of its timing. This is a basic Buddhist premise; the Dalai Lama is forever urging us to sit down and meditate before it’s too late – but at the time it was quite a shock to me. I was 26 years old and had spent my youth barreling around like a bull at a gate. I was utterly convinced that I was a superman who could ‘go hard’ forever without having to suffer any consequences.

Being challenged to consider my mortality was like a slap to the face. It changed my life. I had deliberately (sub-consciously) been avoiding the topic, and the tool we have for dealing with it – spirituality – but I suddenly knew it was time to face my inner-world. I sat on a cushion, the rest is history.

It is important to note that facing up to your mortality isn’t about learning to fear death. It is actually about ‘un-learning’ to fear it. It’s about recognising that the reason we avoid the topic, why we push it from our minds, is because we have lost touch with our spiritual core. We become over-identified with our ego, and thus adopt the ‘survival at all costs’ mentality that the ego naturally holds. Our ego is supposed to fear death – that’s its job – but we are wise to get in touch with our spiritual core and therefore remember that, in the end, death is nothing to fear.

I think that the car just missing me the other day was a small reminder to stop being so obsessed with my goals and plans for the future, to remember to ‘be here now’.

Because now is all we have.

Wise man says nothing

Whether life threatening or not, there will always be surprises in our life, some pleasant, some not. How we deal with the unexpected is the question. Great personal growth can come of sudden unexpected adversity, but there is also the chance that we may let the situation get the better of us – sometimes for years.

The trick is to let go.

I was once unexpectedly trounced by a large, angry man. It is arguable that I didn’t help the situation by responding to his provocation, but I certainly didn’t deserve the savage beating that ensued. I wound up in hospital for two days with, amongst other lesser but still painful injuries, a broken nose and cheek, a cauliflower ear, and a thoroughly mashed eyeball.

It was distressing to say the least.

At first I felt outraged. When not fantasising about the beating I wished I had given him, I was formulating plans to sue the pants off of the guy.

Meanwhile, I was told to take a month off work, which wasn’t too bad because I really hated my job. My family took me in to help me through the experience, setting me up on the sofa bed in front of the wide screen TV, and pampering me with cups of tea and snacks. That was nice. Much nicer than the damp, cramped shed in the dog-poo littered back garden of a filthy share house that I was roughing it in at the time.

My new girlfriend came to stay with me. This ended up being a fantastic opportunity to get to know each other away from the ordinary day-to-day scenarios, and to realise that we were soul mates. I stopped moping about my ‘problems’ and instead saw what a beautiful, caring and unassumingly wonderful woman I had been lucky enough to find. This was five years ago, and I am pleased to report we are still together and happy now.

Before the assault, I had been struggling to adjust to a painful relationship break-up and the post-overseas-travel-blues. When I got a thrashing heaped on top of that, my first reaction was to bemoan my escalating bad luck. But as I spent time with my new girl and my caring family, I realised there was plenty in my life to be grateful for.

I decided to forgive my attacker, and to focus on the positives. I realised that I had, with my talent for winning verbal battles (and subsequent eagerness to get in them), been in danger of falling foul of a violent man for years. Not that this by any means justifies my attacker’s actions, but nevertheless (as my oldest mates will testify) there was a lesson to be learned there, and after multiple close calls, the universe had simply caved in to my ‘asking’ to be taught the hard way. It’s good to stand up for yourself; but sometimes it’s wiser to shut up and walk away. I have made concerted efforts to do this ever since!

So a short, sharp shock here and there, even an unpleasant one, can be a very powerful motivator. If you let go of your naturally defensive reactions and ‘look for the gift’, you may just find that the situation brings unexpected rewards.

]]> http://www.rebelzen.com/2008/11/the-upside-of-danger/feed/ 7 http://www.rebelzen.com/2008/10/do-you-pass-the-lawnmower-test/ http://www.rebelzen.com/2008/10/do-you-pass-the-lawnmower-test/#comments Fri, 17 Oct 2008 04:14:17 +0000 Seamus http://www.rebelzen.com/?p=59 It happens to all of us doesn’t it?

You finally get the time to sit down to read a good book, write a new blog post or meditate when Mr Jones next door decides it’s time to mow the lawn, then go around the edges with his edge-trimmer, then use the leaf-blower to blow the clippings into the gutter – even though he did it all just last week.

Great.

Ju-u-ust perfect.

In this scenario you have two options.

No wait, three, but physical violence is against the law so we’ll focus on the other two:

1) Get Mad and Burn Up Inside.

2) Get Mad, Then Find A Way To Quickly Diffuse That Anger

We’ll get into these in a moment but first…

What Are The Lawnmowers In Your Life?

Lawnmowers are just my pet hate – but the things that get you all riled up inside might be different. Maybe the way your partner talks to you when they’re in a bad mood, or the way your boss treats you or just the irritating habits of the guy who sits across the desk from you at work.

So passing the “Lawnmower Test” means effectively dealing with the anger or irritation you feel when your ‘lawnmower’ pushes your buttons.

Whatever your pet hates are, the question is – how comfortable are you with the way you respond when your buttons are pushed? Are you OK with getting pissed off and silently raging away when the lawnmowers start up? Or is this something you want to transcend?

I am not writing this article as an ‘expert’, but as a seeker. I’d love to be able to transcend my grumpiness. I have become waaaay more “zen” than I used to be, and a lot of things don’t irritate me anywhere near as much as they used to, but gee, it would be nice to be able to go all smiling-Buddha every time my crazy neighbour decides to give his gigantic field another crew cut.

Let’s have another look at our options…

Option 1- Get Mad and Burn Up Inside

This is the easiest response and it’s probably our default option. I know it is for me.

(By the way as I type this some numbskull is trimming the weeds in the large field behind me. Two doors away some other monkey is using a drill or something. The noise is insane.)

I am sure it isn’t good for us, but I find it very difficult not to get, well – not mad as such – but grumpy and irritated.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that but I would love it if I could somehow “not-care” when the lawnmowers start.

Option 2 – Get Mad, Then Find A Way To Quickly Diffuse That Anger

This is more challenging, but better for our long term health and happiness.

By the way, I think it is unrealistic to try and not get irritated by your Pet Hate at all – let’s stay real here – but how do you quickly diffuse the rage? Here are some options:

Deep breathing

I find this really helps.

I will be explaining a fantastic technique for effective deep breathing in our upcoming e-book, so be sure to sign up for free email or RSS updates in the box at the bottom of this article, that way we can tell you when the e-book is ready.

Move Away from the Problem

Easy solution – but what happens when you can’t? When you have work to do? Or when you have responsibilities to face up to?

For example I could just pack up shop right now and put a couple of miles between me and Edge Trimmer Man, but I have so much work to do and I love my work and I have a family to feed, so it’s not going to happen.

The same applies when you find yourself wanting to strangle your husband or wife – in the nicest possible way of course! You can’t just up and leave like that – there are kids to take care of, finances to get in order and friends coming over for dinner or whatever.

So while moving away from your Lawnmower makes sense if you can, it’s not always an option.

Dwell In the Angst

This has really helped me from time to time. What I do is sit down and just totally focus on how massively pissed off I am. I let the issue totally consume me, and my anger too (but I am not allowed to get off my chair).

Eventually, somehow, it seems to work that the issue just doesn’t get to me after a while. Maybe there’s only so far you can go with this kind of response to external irritants before the anger just naturally runs its course.

Let it Flow then Let it Go

If nobody is around I yell and swear for all I’m worth. Then I drop it.

I read about this in “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” years ago and I remember it made me laugh because growing up in a big Irish family this “technique” is just the norm. Except people didn’t care who was around; that wasn’t a limiting factor.

It sounds like I am joking but seriously, we’d yell and rant and rave and storm off to our rooms and slam the door behind us.

Then ten minutes later we’d walk out as if nothing had happened. Everyone was cool again and never a grudge was held in all these years.

Talk About It

I used to hate namby-pamby advice like this, but I have recently come to realise that I had a typical (and unhelpful) male habit of keeping my worries to myself until I boiled over. I have come to realise that while we may feel a bit awkward at first, if we blokes just bite the bullet and discuss issues like adult Human Beings it really helps to alleviate internal rage.

Just don’t confuse a monologue for communication.

And while you’re at it, don’t confuse “talking about it” for complaning and moaning.

As an older boy told me once during a wet and miserable school camp: “Nobody likes a whinger mate”.

(Do people use the term ‘whinger’ in the United States? If not, it means a person who whines and moans all the time.)

I would love to hear your strategies for diffusing anger and irritation in the comments section – for example, what about diet? Can changes made in that area improve our ability to become “unflappable?”

Many eastern spiritual texts put forward the idea that you must learn to have a full awareness of your whole self. While our self looks like it is an integrated whole from one level, scratch the surface (via meditation or other methods of self-enquiry) and you will find a whole heap of different parts of your personality, all striving to express themselves. The one that stands out the most initially is the Ego, the self-important, self-centric aspect of our personality . The ego (which is a modern western psychological term I might add) has been given a fairly bad rap in the modern “new age” scene.

image by Swiss Bones

Somewhere along the way, our Western minds have turned this into the ridiculous notion that to be happy you must get rid of, or even completely destroy the ego.

My own personal experience has brought me to a different understanding. I believe that there is no reason to destroy what is essentially a part of yourself. The real power is in learning to integrate this and all of the other interesting and unique parts of your personality into a functioning whole.

People go through life without a second thought to the idea that there are separate parts of their self, which manifest themselves at different times and in different situations. The ego is just one of these parts, the one that thinks that it is separate from the rest of creation, and that IT is the most important thing in the known Universe.

And quite frankly, it is good to have this instinct kick in from time to time. It stops you getting walked all over, gives you the confidence to claim your place in the world and also to create and express yourself. Knowing that YOU are you, what your place in the world is has a profound importance to our whole selves. But it also has a negative side of selfishness, aggressive behavior and helping us justify doing things that may not always work out best for everybody involved.

The image that makes the concepts more tangible for me is the Yin-Yang. Your personality is in constant flux, and each part must be in harmony with the other for balance. The Ego, or separate, selfish self must be brought into balance with your quiet, inner, calm, connected observer self. Let one part express itself too much and you become overbearing, self-important and obtuse. Too much of the other and you become meek, mild and can have no meaningful interaction with the outside world.

Hey, and don’t get too beat up if you find yourself acting like a complete tool from time to time. Seriously, everyone does it!

DYNAMIC balance means that even though you may find yourself at one end of the Ego scale, you have the self awareness to bring yourself down to a centered state at the appropriate time.

Of course it is not as clear cut as all that, and these are only arbitrary labels that we have placed on very strange and complex phenomena. But at least it gives you a framework to get our talking monkey-brains around and be able to see where all of the pieces fit in.

So in order to address this all important balance, here are my top 5 strategies to keep your ego in proportion.

1 Realise your size in proportion to the universe

When it comes down to it, you are a tiny speck on a tiny speck, floating in a vast sea of nothing more giant and unfathomable then you could ever get your head around. The very notion that what you do on a daily basis affects things at the scales that really seem to matter in the universe is wishful thinking gone crazy. As Seamus put it in his excellent “Looking through the wrong end of the telescope“: You. Don’t. Know. Anything. About. Anything.

The liberation and true freedom of insignificance is yours to grasp at any time. When the ego gets up and starts jumping up and down about its importance, just keep this fact in mind to bring it all back to perspective.

2 Realise that you are where you are only through the help of others

The network of other people you build up around you in friends, co-workers, family and neighbors is one of the most fundamental assets in life. Think that you have accomplished so much in your life? Sure, a lot was done by you, but there is no way anyone could get anything done without the help, co-operation and support of people around them. All of life is a team exercise.

3 Understand that everyone is just as important as you

A lot of the ego’s jumping up and down, complaining and self importance is because it believes it is more important than ANYONE else in the world. You know why so many people in traffic jams start getting irate and honking their horns? It is because each of those people think their journey is more important than the person in front of them. Next time you feel the anger and indignation that the ego fires up when it feels like it is being threatened, just remind yourself that everyone, and everything is just as important as you in the universe. No more, and no less.

4 Realise the inherent impermanence in all things

As I stated before in the “Impermanence Top 40“, today’s front page news is tomorrow’s forgotten fact. So many events in our life that the Ego blows up into monumental proportions seem trivial the next day, and are forgotten next week. Nothing lasts forever, and nothing remains in the same state as it is now for even a second. Strive for your goals, and enjoy the journey. But realise that everything is just a castle in the sand, to be washed out to sea by the waves of time.

5 Realise that humour is the true currency of the universe.

Just about anything in life has a funny side to it, when looked at from a certain perspective. The greatest way to disarm the Ego is to see the inherent humour in everything. When we laugh, we see the connectedness of things, the joy in everyday life and realise that the world is not such a serious place after all.

Humour is all about connectedness, it shows us how previously unthought-of concepts are connected in unexpected ways. It connects us to others in the shared experience of having a laugh and goofing off for a while. Next time you find yourself acting from ego, have a laugh.

Firstly, Hi to all of our new subscribers to Rebel Zen and for the great comments we have been getting for the latest posts. Both Seamus and I really appreciate your thoughts and feedback.

I wanted to write today about a concept that is all too common for modern, internet connected people.

Almost everyone I know these days seems to be living their life at a frantic pace, working far too much and not spending enough time on themselves. They are living life at a speed that would make even Led Zeppelin circa 1973 want to lie down and take a Nana Nap. Sure it’s not hard livin’, hard drinkin’ party all night style living, but attaching yourself to a computer screen for 12 hours a day can certainly take its toll.

There is so much media and connectivity simultaneously vying for our attention that the important things like personal development, exercise and spiritual practice are often let go.

We put it to the back of our mind, and instead of keeping our meditation times and going to our yoga classes; we put personal time to the side until the busy period is over. Which is a shame, because meditation, yoga, and any other time where you get to sit, center your mind and simply be is the BEST thing to do when you are crazy busy.

It’s what you should be taking the time to do at 3.00pm when your mind is completely fried from a hectic work day. If you start to feel the old brain doing back flips under the strain of another spreadsheet or word document take 10 minutes to stop, and refresh yourself the best way you know, and then continue.

But if we don’t do this, and continue to push ourselves past our limits without rest, then there is the risk losing our true selves to work. Our unique personality, the fun loving part of ourselves that makes us who we are, is often the first part to fade when we become overtired and too obsessed with the unimportant things in life. We lose our ability to connect in a meaningful way with those we love, or don’t find value in spending time just being. Do this for long enough and all that will be left are the boring, stressed out and grumpy parts of us.

You see workaholic types that have lost any idea of who they are and what makes them happy. They lose that spark that makes them who they are; they become someone that is just “going through the motions”.

Don’t let this happen to you, you owe it to your SELF.

Well, maybe they do. Truthfully, I wouldn’t know, but I can’t help but reckon that those who walk around claiming to “perfectly enlightened” are probably at least partially faking it – if not out and out bullshitting us all – and so therefore they must have some pretty human moments. Try and picture it with me …

The seminar is over and the Guru has slipped into some casual attire and is down in the hotel lobby having a scotch, listening to the depressingly blue jazz band and trying to catch the eye of a pretty business woman. Unfortunately she turns her nose up at him so he downs his drink and retires to his room; yet another one. They all look the same.

He checks his email. Nothing interesting; just work and irritating questions from a few of the more obsessive disciples. “Why can’t they just switch on their brains and sort out their own problems?” he mutters, “Ah well – it’s a living.”

He flops on the bed and flicks on the TV. Sport. More sport. Bad movies. Oooh! Porn! Oh, unless you pay for it the screen goes blank after thirty seconds…

“Bah,” thinks the Guru. “Might as well turn in, gotta be up early for tomorrow’s flight to Seattle”.

Ok so I made that scenario up – and truthfully it’s most probably a reflection of what I would be like if I got myself a traveling guru gig – but you know…

The Set Up

When I hear people rave on about being perfectly enlightened I can’t help but feel a little cynical. Why do they feel the need to set themselves up to be so flawless?

Well the reason is simple: By setting themselves up as being Enlightened (or Rich, or Fit, or Productive, or Whatever) what they in fact are saying is “I am more Enlightened than you“. (Or rich or whatever.)

This then triggers in you a longing to be like you perceive them to be. Surely then you too can be rid of all that nasty fear, angst, depression, regret and the rest of the bad feelings that come with the package that is “being human”. Proclaiming perfection creates a tension in you, and that tension makes you buy their stuff.

Not that there is necessarily a problem there. If their stuff makes you feel better, even for a little while, then it is probably a good thing. And if all you do is make an effort to learn something and improve yourself a little – then great. But read back over the last line of the preceding paragraph.

See anything wrong with this picture?

Gurus Create Tension!?!

That’s just crazy! Isn’t it their job to relieve you of tension?

Nope.

It should be, but in reality their job description is just the opposite.

The Perfectly Enlightened guru makes you feel un-enlightened. The Perfectly Fit guru makes you feel like a fat slob. The Totally Rich guru makes you feel like a worthless loser. They have to – otherwise you wouldn’t buy their book.

Which might be fine with the Fit guy or the Rich guy (as long as you have, at least to some extent, the wisdom to rise above the Ego and its desire for what it perceives you lack). Chances are they ARE super-fit or super-rich (doesn’t mean they aren’t jerks though).

But the “Perfectly Enlightened” guy? That’s a whole ‘nother story.

Ain’t no such thing, Dude. Ain’t no such thing.

Further Reading:

Zen is Boring

You are already enlightened.

It’s just my opinion, and I have no idea what I am talking about, but you – yes, you – have absolutely no clue what the hell is going on.

Yes, you heard me, and that goes for your guru, coach, expert or teacher also.

You see, sometimes when I am at barbecues, beer comfortably resting on my belly, paper plate piled high on my knee, the subject comes up that I write personal development articles and, for better or worse, I cringe. Why? Because the first thing that happens, at least in my mind, is that people look at me and think “Well, what the hell does he know that I don’t? He’s no guru; look at that blob of mayonnaise on his beard! And isn’t that the guy who drank a couple too many at Jo’s party last fortnight and made a fool of himself? Personal development writer indeed – hmmph!”

And the truth is they are right. I don’t know diddly. But neither do ‘they’ and neither, my friend, do you.

You might have chosen to believe certain things, and these beliefs are most likely an integral part of your sense of personal identity. In fact they are probably very useful in keeping you from just collapsing under the weight of a total existential breakdown, but nevertheless…

You. Don’t. Know. Anything. About. Anything.

Believing something is not the same as knowing something. One is a choice, the other is a certainty, and in this life there are no certainties.

Everything you think you know is all just your own unique perspective and is completely unprovable as ultimate truth.

I once saw that great, mad, rambling comic Billy Connolly expound his view on this. Minus a few expletives, he said:

“We are part of something enormous that’s too big for us too understand. … We’ve been looking through the wrong end of the telescope for God … See those wee things that live in ponds … they don’t have a clue that we exist, because we’re too big for them … Well, there’s something too huge for us. We’re the leg of a chair. We’re a cup of tea. We’re something dead simple.”

In other words we just see this little circle of possibility that just doesn’t give us a particularly insightful view of the big picture whatsoever. We are too big for the little water bugs to comprehend, and that, my little insect friends, is our lot too. If you’ve ever seen that email that goes around comparing the relative size of the planets to each other and then to the sun, and then our sun to the other even bigger suns out there until planet Earth is so little it can’t even be seen on the computer screen anymore, then you’ll know what Billy means. We are so, so tiny in the grand scheme of things that we are conceited to think that we will ever understand our Universe …

… and herein lies our freedom.

(”Everybody! Follow me!” screams Connolly, doing a Nazi salute and marching off, “We’ll come back for your valuables later!”)

But seriously, given that you will soon be dead, and given that you can’t be expected to understand God or the big picture, there is simply no good reason why you shouldn’t dream ‘big’ (which will always be comparatively small) and, to reclaim a corporately-hijacked cliché, just do it.

I Don’t Know What I’m Talking About

I don’t know what I’m talking about of course, but in my opinion our mission is to help to raise the vibration of the universe just a little bit. To make a positive contribution. Now, this contribution, even if you became the single most important human being in the history of the world, will by default always be tiny in the grand scheme of things, but in the earthly context of this and subsequent generations, you can help to make our world a better place, and this can bring you (and others) happiness.

Far be it for me to bark orders, but there’s no point trying to understand the Universe, because that is a waste of time, and there’s no point wasting our lives chasing security, because there simply is no security. Soon, very soon, you will be dead and whatever happens after that is anybody’s guess. So be free. Do what you want. Dream a dream and have a go. Sure you’ll need to consider practicalities, and you’ll need to decide whether or not you really do actually want the pressure and risk that comes with being a working astronaut or high-wire trapeze artist, but don’t let others put you off by telling you what-is-what, because those people, be they priest, parent, spouse, whoever, have absolutely no clue – and neither do you.

If you ponder it long enough, I hope you will see the ultimate freedom that lies in this fact: No matter how hard you peer up above you, you will never really know what the heck is actually going in outside of your little muddy puddle, so you are free do what you feel.

My only sub-clause is this: The one apparently apparent fact in this life is that doing good is infinitely more satisfying for any sane person than doing evil. So please don’t use this article as an excuse to do something horrible. After all, it’s not like I have the foggiest idea what I am on about.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and find a napkin to wipe the mayonnaise – and forty seven thousand, three hundred and eighty nine tiny doomed critters – off my beard. Good day to you.

This article was first published in print in Living Now Publishing’s DaretoDream magazine (March 2008, Australia)