The scene at the start on the train and all of the photos were taken, on a small, lo-fi digital camera in mid-2007 in France, mostly in Paris and on a visit to the Palace of Versailles. I got pretty bored of taking shots of monuments and crap like that so I started taking covert snaps of people minding their own business. Enjoy!

The latest episode of Seamus.TV is about making Curly’s Law work for you by choosing One Thing to do and drilling deep down into that one area of specialty to succeed. Check it out!

You may or may not have noticed that I have not written as much for Rebel Zen of late as I used to. There is a twofold explanation for this:

1) Lack of time – not a lot I can do about this at the moment; gotta put food on the table.

2) Negative frame of mind – basically, I am a musician who also writes personal development stuff, and over the years of I have noticed a roller-coaster shaped trend to my personal development content output based on my reoccurring and longish cycles of depression.

Basically when I am feeling groovy, I write lots of personal development stuff, but when I am going through a prolonged “dark night of the soul” my armchair-Zen-style blatherings tend to dry up (which is very inconvenient because it is quite a lucrative writing market for me when I have good momentum going).

Zen and the Art of Being Miserable?

When I am dark, I find it easy to keep writing music, because these are works of art that feel fully at home with states of mind of like depression, anxiety and paranoia. After all where would some of my favourite musicians like Nick Cave, Pink Floyd or Morrissey be without their “black dogs”?

But it would be hypocritical of me to write about meditation, enlightenment and success ideas when I am failing to practice what I preach. Besides, it’s impossible, I can only write from the heart.

So, suffice to say, I have been in one of these stretches of feeling down for all of this Australian winter, which happened last winter too. By “feeling down” I mean depressed moods, hopelessness, anxiety, paranoia and fear.  The question is – why?

SAD … and Other Suspects

Well, this is complex, but through trial and error I have found that alcohol doesn’t help, so cutting right back on that makes a big difference. Also I have been mighty, mighty tired for the last couple of years, which is par for the parenting course, but nonetheless, no doubt aggravates the problem.

Further, the fact that I have been lately afflicted during winter leads one to suspect a case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). And, let’s face it, with my extended, outrageous youth not that far behind me and my remaining taste for the occasional toke of the old University Cigarette (if one should happen to be passed around), I may have simply screwed my nerves up for sake of experimentation and kicks.

Anyway, causes aside, being male, all I really care about is “how can I fix this quickly, cheaply and without having to talk to anyone about it?”, so I was quite chuffed when “The Universe” or (insert preferred deity here) sent me some unexpected help in the form of a book by Brenda Shoshanna called “Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind.

I read this book while at my worst point in my mid-winter blues, where my anxiety and paranoia was so bad as to be almost quite silly. Cars would drive up our quite street at night while I was trying to sleep and I would feel startled, worrying that “they” were coming to get me. Crazy stuff like that; quite absurd really, but nonetheless disconcerting.

A West-Meets-East Zen Approach

Well this book, Fearless, is all about how to combat these feelings, with just the kind of West-Meets-East Zen approach that I love, so it really hit the spot.

It helped me at night (when my anxiety was at its worst) to lie in bed before sleeping and go over the book. Chapters like “Recognising the Voices Within” and “Meeting Fear Face-to-Face” really helped me to work through things quietly on my own.

I guess the main points of the book were not new to me, being an old self-help/Zen-waffle junkie from way back, but it is always great to be reminded of the core ideas of Eastern philosophy and how they really are very liberating.

After all, unless you’re on a ship that is actually sinking or you are literally being physically attacked right now or something horrible like that, the rest of our fear and anxiety is an imagined load of old cobblers – fantasies with little-to-no basis in reality (reality being NOW).

I could go on forever, but let me rest by saying that if you have any problems with fearfulness, anxiety and/or paranoia then I highly recommend that you get your hands on Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind as soon as possible because it may help you as much as it helped me to feel better.

(By the way, I am generally feeling much better thanks, I have kept the booze to a minimum, boring as that may be, and the days down-under are getting longer, and while I am not on any kind of high, things certainly don’t seem as bleak to me as they did a month or two ago. And soon – the spring!)

This is why I have lately started video blogging over at Seamus.TV - it’s not strictly about (insert whatever this blog is supposed to be about) but essentially, to me, it is all the same thing (inspiration for living life to it’s fullest).

Soon, I may start doing some Rebel Zen specific video blogging. (I am currently restricted from doing this due to lack of time. Vlogging actually takes me longer than a written article, despite the fact that I don’t script my video posts. The things that take time are editing and uploading – but I am getting systems down to speed these chores up. “Systems” like wearing a t-shirt with the vlog title on it so I don’t have to integrate title bylines on the screen, sophisticated stuff like that ;-P … And one day I may actually get another video camera instead of just using my iPhone, which ain’t so crash hot I will admit.)

Anyway, check it out, if even just to have a laugh at my apparent lack of sanity.

By this I mean it’s not (in my opinion, unqualified by any particular dogma) something that just happens and then that’s it – you’re enlightened for the rest of your life.

For me it’s somewhere you have to make the effort to go (although sometimes you stumble upon it without trying, like walking out of the trees into an unexpected clearing in a forest).

And like all visits, you sit, maybe drink some tea, enjoy – but then you have to leave, already looking forward to your next visit.

Usually, I travel to this delightful place by meditation, and it can be a bumpy ride getting there. Sometimes I run out of time and steam and have to turn back without reaching the destination. Usually, if I keep steadfastly on, I get there eventually.

I used to go to this place a lot but over the last year or two I have rarely made the effort or found the time to visit this place.

I think this is ok (I had things to do) but it is not sustainable and the price is always increased feelings of negativity and decreased well-being. Recently I have had to admit to myself that this has been reaching a quiet kind of crisis point and I have really needed to get back on my chair and meditate. Thankfully, my trusty old steed is still happy to bear my load.

Maybe this is also what is meant by “returning to the breath”?

By Seamus Anthony

As I type my partner is fuming in the kitchen, banging cups and plates around and lamenting people and their selfishness. She is a particularly selfless individual and this is part of the reason that I love her so much. Of course the downside is that she is constantly disappointed by the self-centredness of those around her, both in the community at large and *ahem* in her immediate circles.

It’s true when she says that I don’t listen very well when she talks about things she is passionate about but which I struggle to be very interested in (although it’s not true when she says I am not really sorry; I am actually).

And it’s true when she says that people are, to use what I presume is an Australian colloquialism, “pikers” (to “pike” means to cancel on a commitment, whether that be volunteering for a charity event or just morning tea). People are Pikers. So am I – although not anywhere as much as others are.

I tell my better half that, although it’s sad, she should stop expecting so much of other people. People are selfish and will, reliably and regularly, disappoint you. The more you expect people to behave in a certain manner, the more let down and hurt you are going to feel when, almost inevitably, they don’t.

So the best course of action is to lower expectations of others and get on with it.

Of course these platitudes just lead to another passionate blitzkrieg of righteous indignation – and she is right – it is a sad state of affairs to have to lower expectations to the level of “what is” as opposed to “what should be” but there it is.

I think the Selfishness Syndrome is an increasingly prevalent malaise. People are rushed, stressed, overwhelmed and, at the end of the day, scared. Scared of what’s to come. Scared of losing. Scared of being trampled on by a dog-eat-dog society. Scared, ultimately, of death.

And this fear leads to defensive behaviour – one of which is selfishness.

Keeping Up Appearances

I read today in a surprisingly sensitive episode of the Lefsetz Letter that “if you even profess doubts, never mind actually lose, you’re kicked to the curb these days.  We’ve only got time for winners” and the quoted struck me as being related to the above issue.

I have experienced this on more than one occasion.

People are very concerned with attaching themselves to what appear to be ascending stars.

I used to be in a band, and in our day, we were the toast of the town. People couldn’t get enough of us: other musicians, girls, the media, venue operators. Our phone bill took a dive almost overnight when suddenly the situation turned from us doggedly calling out, over and over, to everybody calling us, wanting a piece of the action.

But eventually the band, formerly the single most unified group of people I have ever been a part of, began to grow weary of each other and this energy was palpable. Did anybody stand up and say “Hey, you guys have been working very hard and in each other’s pockets for 5 years now; why don’t you take a break and meanwhile me and some other friends will help you to get through this tough time”?

No.

What happened was that the entire city, everybody we knew right down to our parents and partners, smelt the fear and deserted the ship like the proverbial rats.

“It’s over man, move on” was all I heard from anybody. In retrospect, despite my sage advice to my beautiful lady, I feel very disappointed in others about this. We could have used some support, but the same crowd that did not believe we could do what we actually went out and did, were the first people to give up the hope we ended up inspiring in them and scarper at the first sign of trouble.

I am not surprised mind you – it’s just like Lefsetz said – people only have time for winners and at the first whiff of self-doubt, they will drop you like a stone. Unfortunate, but true. On the flipside, I am aware that if you stop putting energy into a project, the buzz is going to fade. So I am not dissing people for not hanging around breathlessly waiting for us (the band) to get off our arses and start kicking goals again. That would be delusional. You get according to what you put in.

The Golden Solution

There is hope though. But before I get to that I need to gripe about one more thing:

Hello? Has anybody out there other than me ever heard of the Golden Rule?

You do know what that is right?

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

Ok I am exaggerating – plenty of people do practice this … but MORE simply do not.

Let’s take an example that most bloggers and readers will relate to: social media.

The brilliant Gary Vaynerchuk repeatedly drums home that it’s counter-constructive to use platforms like Facebook, Twitter, etc. as one-way broadcasting channels to try to ram your shit down people’s throats. On a practical level it doesn’t work. In fact Gary quite rightly calls it spamming but this fact seems to be lost on many of my friends and acquaintances that are in bands, or run small businesses or what have you. Many of these people are never seen in my Facebook news feed until they have a new “thing” to promote and suddenly there they are jumping up and down screaming “look at me!” and “buy my shit” and “become my fan”.

I should point out that I have been guilty of this too in the past because it is hard to resist isn’t it? You sit there thinking to yourself “how can I get people to pay attention to my awesomeness” and you know they are all going to see whatever you post and it’s just so easy to bang out a mini-ad about yourself and hit submit.

But bottom line? It doesn’t work.

I have found that when I post something funny, insightful or useful to Facebook, I get responses. But when I post something like “Just recorded a new song, check it out” with a link, the response is usually muted.

Now maybe this is because my music is shit, but I reckon it’s because people hate (and gloss over) blatant self-promotion. I know this because I do it – big time.

I have a Facebook “friend” (who I have not seen since my teenage years) who is a painter and constantly touts her wares on Facebook.

Now – I know she’s a great artist but frankly, I tend to ignore most of her posts. I just don’t have the time or the desire to be marketed at by friends. After all, who likes a friend who wants to convert you to Amway or Born Again Christianity? Fucking nobody, that’s who.

Meanwhile you’re thinking – yeah but wasn’t this about the Golden Rule?

Well, yes it is – I’m getting to it.

So I have been reaching out blogging again and getting right back into social media, but I have come to the conclusion, like my dear charity-barbecue-organising lady, that people are simply too selfish to do much for you unless they see a very compelling “what’s in it for me” reason to do so. It’s the way it is. The Golden Rule is becoming the Forgotten Rule.

Sad but true.

BUT

I am trying an experiment.

I have always been pretty quick to help people out, especially online because I can do it from my desk, but what I have started doing over the last few weeks is taking this to a whole new level. I am devoting significant time and to going right out of my way to offer unsought after help to other people.

I am recommending music by other people to my network and to music industry people.

I am spending time in forums to promote another person’s podcast.

I am attending gigs that are an hour’s drive out of my way.

I am looking for more and more ways to help others to get ahead.

And I’m not asking for a thing in return.

I am doing this for two reasons, one altruistic, the other not.

The first reason is because we have to try to make this world a better place right? And, to use a cliché, you are either a part of the problem or a part of the solution. In this case the problem is people’s selfish reluctance to help others out. I want to not be like that because being like that sucks to the power of infinity plus four.

The second reason, ironically, perversely even, is that I want to see to what amount this affects people’s willingness to help me out, to promote MY shit, to recommend ME to others, even though I won’t ask them to.

I don’t know what the result of this experiment will be – but I truly hope that the Golden Rule is the Golden Solution to the (greater) problem of the Selfishness Syndrome and the (lesser) problem of how to sell one’s shit.

I will report back on how it goes. Thankfully, I am fairly certain that few people will read this far down so this post is unlikely to scuttle my cunning plan!

Now that I have made the commitment to blogging here again, I have been pondering what this blog is actually about. To start with it was about “personal development”, “self-improvement” and “success” but I have never felt comfortable with any of these labels whatsoever.

I think I prefer to decide that this blog is about “Meaning”.

Why? Because that’s what we all need and crave in this life – Meaning – and big time.

It is my humble opinion that all of human activity, everything we do, is shaped and coloured by the fact that we are given life, wonder “why?”, get no answer and then have to die. This shaky sequence of events, facts and mystery is the foundation on which the entire human condition is built.

But Why?

The thing that sets us apart from the animals, as far as we know, is that we hit the age of 2 or 3 and suddenly we wonder: “Why?”

It’s like – all this stuff exists … ok … got my head around that …

… but why?

Why does it exist? Why is my Mummy so tall? Why am I eating potatoes? Why does the dog have black hair with a white stripe on his nose?

In fact (can you tell I have a 2.5 year old kid?) it is very interesting to follow the train of thought of a toddler and discover in this, the entire problem of “being human” – we just don’t know what it all means. (Some people think they do of course, but they have no precise way to verify their beliefs about meaning so it cannot be denied that they are anything more than conjecture.)

Here’s a hypothetical discussion with my 2 year old:

Daddy what are you doing?

I am working.

But why?

Because we need money.

But why?

Because if we don’t have money then we can’t buy food or clothes or toys.

But why?

Because this is the system that is set up, it’s called Capitalism.

But why?

Well, truly, I don’t know why Capitalism exists, probably because of all the systems they have tried, it is the one that seems to work, albeit far from perfectly.

But why?

Dunno – maybe because it is the system that most honestly addresses and mirrors human nature.

But why?

Because humans are by nature very concerned with getting things, with survival and with the pursuit of pleasure.

But why?

Because that’s how our brains are wired up – we chase pleasure and avoid pain and do our damndest to survive.

But why?

Because that’s just what animals do and we are animals.

But why?

But why are we animals? Well … because we just are. Nobody knows the answer to that question.

But why?

Because when you ask the question, you’ll never get an answer.

But why?

You’ll never know why you never get an answer to this either. We do not truly know why we exist and we never get an answer when we ask the question. It’s just a big, big mystery.

I wonder if you started with any question whether it would always come down to the eternal question that every human must ask and never get an answer to: Why?

So I guess that’s what this blog is about – it’s about the eternal, fruitless search for Meaning (yes, with a capital M) and what to do about that.

It’s not really about trying to sell you on an answer – because there is none. Rather, this blog is about finding ideas and ways to cope with the absence of Meaning, and to connect with others along the way – so please, drop me a line and say G’day!

(it is about marketing music (or anything really) in the kooky new Internet world so don’t click if this doesn’t inherently interest you, and it is a video blog post too I should point out)