By Seamus Anthony

It has only been recently, mostly I think, as a result of becoming a father, and realising what a massive responsibility this is, that I have truly come to understand and appreciate the concept of “legacy”. Before that I was so intently pre-occupied with the wonder of my own (or other people’s) navels that I barely gave it a thought.

I would never have admitted it, but, mostly, all I cared about was finding ways to “feel good”, be it through romantic relationships, interesting work, stage performance, alcohol, meditation, adventure, sex or what-have-you. All very well, but somewhat lacking in big picture consciousness: the fact that we are here in this Life to help and look after each other, the Earth and those who will come after us, not just to mindlessly seek pleasure.

Perhaps this is just a more grown-up way of seeking pleasure: discovering a need to feel good through living an upstanding life, but truly, I think it is deep need that must be met. I cannot be happy unless I am living as the best person I can be (and always improving what that means) and I cannot succeed as a father, partner, friend, relative and member of society unless I am happy. The Dalia Lama says (I think it was him) the purpose of Life is to be happy. And he’s right – imagine if we were all happy!

A happy person does not become a despot, an abuser, a war-monger or a thief. On a smaller but more common scale, a truly happy person does not have dominant habits of criticizing others or indulging in behaviours that cause harm.

A happy person is not afraid of death, but looks it square in the eyes and says “Come what may; I am at peace with the Universe and myself, and I know I am walking a righteous path”.

Personal evolution seems to move slowly sometimes and even as my daughter came into this world, it still took time to come to this more conscious point. It’s not like your child just pops out and suddenly you go “Whoa – that’s it: I have completely changed as a person as of this moment”.

Well, maybe that happens for others, but it wasn’t that way with me. It really took one and a half years (of generally pretty loving and responsible parenting, I would like to give myself) to really start to ‘get’ the nature of the beast; to start to even get an inkling of why so many other dads seem so serious. Why they wouldn’t come out to party with me. Why they put up with their mundane-but-respectable jobs that they were obviously bored with.

I still don’t 100% agree that it’s the best thing for our children to be so damn serious and caged-in all the time (too fear-based), but I do now understand why they choose to be this way: legacy. They are extremely serious about leaving a legacy of having done the right thing by their children, and this is their way of doing so, and kudos to them.

Like A Dad in the Headlights

Once I came to appreciate the concept of legacy, I was instantly smitten with the darkest self-loathing and anxiety I have ever experienced. After years of pretty much embodying the first card in the Tarot deck – the light-hearted fool – suddenly, I discovered that (gasp!) I cared.

Suddenly everything mattered a lot more than it ever used to – especially everything I personally did and said.

A good thing right?

Well, yes…

But nevertheless, this scared the crap out of me and I promptly shut down.

Not that most people could tell from the outside. After all, I had too much to do: a toddler to rear, bacon to bring home and passions still demanding to be expressed – but inside – I was a deer in the headlights.

Habits Are Hard To Break – Until You Break ‘Em (then they’re easier)

So my first reaction: I decided to change some of my self-indulgent habits – and then promptly re-discovered that habits are, in fact, extremely hard to break – until you break them, that is. Then they’re pretty much broken.

You can break your bad habits. I’ve done it (smoking). People do it all the time. But that doesn’t make it easy.

Here’s a trick that worked for me with smoking  – you have to associate more pain with the bad habit than pleasure. If you can genuinely do that, then it “just” takes applied strength and patience with yourself. Easier said than done, I admit, and yet to be proven in other areas of my life.

Many times I have woken up with a hangover or otherwise fallen short of my own new-found high-standards and proceeded to beat myself up mercilessly about it for days (and maybe that helped) but now I am kinder on myself. I guess I can afford to be as I look back over the past year or two and see a real positive progression. I’m no angel, but I am a hell of lot happier with myself than I used to be and getting better all the time.

Yep, I am coming out the other side. And in contrast to my initial catatonic state, I often feel positively loose and limber with the belief that whoever we have been in the past, we can choose who we are going to be today and in the future.

I used to be a fun, but self-centred kid; now I am a fun, but family-centred man, corny as that may sound.

Anyway, all of the above is pretty much a spontaneous ramble. I didn’t sit down to write an article but rather to write a list of what I would like my legacy to be, so here goes:

I would like people to remember me – actually no – stop. Let’s rephrase that.

I would like people to know me now and remember me after I am gone as:

A man who puts others and his responsibilities first.

A man who is always looking for ways to help others and to make powerful contributions to the positive evolution of Life on Earth.

A man who forgives others.

A man who tries to be the best man he can be, and who tries to better what this means every day, but who can forgive himself, ask for and accept forgiveness when he lets others down.

A man who refrains from unhelpful criticism and instead uses his words to encourage and build others up.

A man who believes that anything is possible – and who actively goes and proves it.

A man who is in awe of the Great Mystery of Life and who does not take life for granted.

A man who has found God and, in doing so, inner peace.

A man who chooses to be happy and feels free to do what makes him happy so long as it does not cause him to harm others or neglect his responsibilities.

A man who believes that there are two paths to choose from, the Path of Love or the Path of Despair, and who chooses the Path of Love. A man who may sometimes lose his way or stumble, but who always gets up, returns to and continues down this path, towards the Light.

A man who knows that whoever we have been in the past, we can choose who are today and who we will be tomorrow.

A man who laughs every day.

A man who is truly grateful and gives thanks everyday for his abundant blessings – whatever guise they come in.

A man who has conquered fear and left it powerless to hold him down.

Pretty epic huh? And in truth, if I dropped dead tomorrow, I wouldn’t expect anybody to be spouting this stuff at my funeral, I’d rather they just said I was a good bloke and got on with the party. Regardless, when I stop to really think about it, that’s where my values lie.

I can’t claim to be the walking embodiment of everything in that list from moment to moment, but I give it a go, and every day I get better and better.

The last one about conquering fear really is the clincher – many of us are so in the grip of the negative, fear-based spin pummelled at us every day by the media (who have a lot to answer for) that truly, the best thing you can do for the world is to skip the infernal, incessant news updates and go create something beautiful, something that helps people feel better.

Screw the Path of Despair – choose the Path of Love and enjoy this wonderful life.

Recently an “Internet Acquaintance” of mine, Shann Vander Leek sent me her book, Life On Your Terms, and as I knew very little about her or her book, it was a pleasant surprise to discover that I really enjoyed it.

Actually, I didn’t just “really enjoy it” …

I flippin’ loved it!

Here’s the email I sent to Shann before I had even finished reading it:

Hi Shann,

I am dipping in and out of your book and each time it’s like an inspiration espresso!

Accordingly, the following is pretty turbo-charged but I assure you, written by one stone-cold sober musician.

Reading this book, both your words and your interviewees, I have made quantum leaps – especially in the areas of legacy, clarity and courage – and (very rare) was on the verge of tears just a moment ago due to several impactful moments in a short space of time as I flipped randomly through knockout chapter after knockout chapter, too buzzed to read for long without acting on my passion – right now.

Suffice to say I’ll be publishing a glowing review, but more importantly: thank you for showing me that I am not alone in my idiosyncratic outlook on life, and in doing so, multiplying my power to rock by about one million megahurtz.

The book is a collection of interviews with some very inspirational and inspired people. Some of the quotes are awesome. The following quote in particular, by Canadian businessman Perry Niehaus, shattered some block in my mind with a powerful intensity that had me spinning in my chair and wondering what just hit me:

When you come to understand that there is nothing to fear, life will progress. Everything that happens in our lives that hurts us or holds us back is based on fear. When we can completely give up our fear, we can do anything.

As well as conquering fear, there is a running theme in the book about legacy. I have been guilty of never really giving much thought to the concept, until recently, as the reality that my little girl is one day going to grow into a young adult who will no doubt read and listen to my writing and music and otherwise look to my (increasingly huge) public record of thoughts, opinions and actions for guidance.

Thankfully, having just conquered fear, I did not go into a panic at the thought!!!

Instead I made a commitment in writing to what I want my legacy to be. I might even publish that process here soon, but the point is, it was this fantastic book that helped me to look myself square in the face and really have a good think about what it is I represent, what I stand for, what I contribute to the greater good.

So in closing, if you harbour a desire to break free from the shackles of drudgery, discover and/or start living your passion and could use a little push – well this ain’t the book for you – because it will give you a BIG push. Seriously, I developed such an action-bias while reading this it was like I had ADHD; I just kept getting so inspired to go for it I had to get up every few minutes and take descisive action towards the fulfillment of my truest desires.

Do yourself a big favour – go buy Life On Your Terms – it will be an investment that pays off handsomely, no doubt about it.

You may or may not have noticed that I have not written as much for Rebel Zen of late as I used to. There is a twofold explanation for this:

1) Lack of time – not a lot I can do about this at the moment; gotta put food on the table.

2) Negative frame of mind – basically, I am a musician who also writes personal development stuff, and over the years of I have noticed a roller-coaster shaped trend to my personal development content output based on my reoccurring and longish cycles of depression.

Basically when I am feeling groovy, I write lots of personal development stuff, but when I am going through a prolonged “dark night of the soul” my armchair-Zen-style blatherings tend to dry up (which is very inconvenient because it is quite a lucrative writing market for me when I have good momentum going).

Zen and the Art of Being Miserable?

When I am dark, I find it easy to keep writing music, because these are works of art that feel fully at home with states of mind of like depression, anxiety and paranoia. After all where would some of my favourite musicians like Nick Cave, Pink Floyd or Morrissey be without their “black dogs”?

But it would be hypocritical of me to write about meditation, enlightenment and success ideas when I am failing to practice what I preach. Besides, it’s impossible, I can only write from the heart.

So, suffice to say, I have been in one of these stretches of feeling down for all of this Australian winter, which happened last winter too. By “feeling down” I mean depressed moods, hopelessness, anxiety, paranoia and fear.  The question is – why?

SAD … and Other Suspects

Well, this is complex, but through trial and error I have found that alcohol doesn’t help, so cutting right back on that makes a big difference. Also I have been mighty, mighty tired for the last couple of years, which is par for the parenting course, but nonetheless, no doubt aggravates the problem.

Further, the fact that I have been lately afflicted during winter leads one to suspect a case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). And, let’s face it, with my extended, outrageous youth not that far behind me and my remaining taste for the occasional toke of the old University Cigarette (if one should happen to be passed around), I may have simply screwed my nerves up for sake of experimentation and kicks.

Anyway, causes aside, being male, all I really care about is “how can I fix this quickly, cheaply and without having to talk to anyone about it?”, so I was quite chuffed when “The Universe” or (insert preferred deity here) sent me some unexpected help in the form of a book by Brenda Shoshanna called “Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind.

I read this book while at my worst point in my mid-winter blues, where my anxiety and paranoia was so bad as to be almost quite silly. Cars would drive up our quite street at night while I was trying to sleep and I would feel startled, worrying that “they” were coming to get me. Crazy stuff like that; quite absurd really, but nonetheless disconcerting.

A West-Meets-East Zen Approach

Well this book, Fearless, is all about how to combat these feelings, with just the kind of West-Meets-East Zen approach that I love, so it really hit the spot.

It helped me at night (when my anxiety was at its worst) to lie in bed before sleeping and go over the book. Chapters like “Recognising the Voices Within” and “Meeting Fear Face-to-Face” really helped me to work through things quietly on my own.

I guess the main points of the book were not new to me, being an old self-help/Zen-waffle junkie from way back, but it is always great to be reminded of the core ideas of Eastern philosophy and how they really are very liberating.

After all, unless you’re on a ship that is actually sinking or you are literally being physically attacked right now or something horrible like that, the rest of our fear and anxiety is an imagined load of old cobblers – fantasies with little-to-no basis in reality (reality being NOW).

I could go on forever, but let me rest by saying that if you have any problems with fearfulness, anxiety and/or paranoia then I highly recommend that you get your hands on Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind as soon as possible because it may help you as much as it helped me to feel better.

(By the way, I am generally feeling much better thanks, I have kept the booze to a minimum, boring as that may be, and the days down-under are getting longer, and while I am not on any kind of high, things certainly don’t seem as bleak to me as they did a month or two ago. And soon – the spring!)

This is why I have lately started video blogging over at Seamus.TV - it’s not strictly about (insert whatever this blog is supposed to be about) but essentially, to me, it is all the same thing (inspiration for living life to it’s fullest).

Soon, I may start doing some Rebel Zen specific video blogging. (I am currently restricted from doing this due to lack of time. Vlogging actually takes me longer than a written article, despite the fact that I don’t script my video posts. The things that take time are editing and uploading – but I am getting systems down to speed these chores up. “Systems” like wearing a t-shirt with the vlog title on it so I don’t have to integrate title bylines on the screen, sophisticated stuff like that ;-P … And one day I may actually get another video camera instead of just using my iPhone, which ain’t so crash hot I will admit.)

Anyway, check it out, if even just to have a laugh at my apparent lack of sanity.

As I type my partner is fuming in the kitchen, banging cups and plates around and lamenting people and their selfishness. She is a particularly selfless individual and this is part of the reason that I love her so much. Of course the downside is that she is constantly disappointed by the self-centredness of those around her, both in the community at large and *ahem* in her immediate circles.

It’s true when she says that I don’t listen very well when she talks about things she is passionate about but which I struggle to be very interested in (although it’s not true when she says I am not really sorry; I am actually).

And it’s true when she says that people are, to use what I presume is an Australian colloquialism, “pikers” (to “pike” means to cancel on a commitment, whether that be volunteering for a charity event or just morning tea). People are Pikers. So am I – although not anywhere as much as others are.

I tell my better half that, although it’s sad, she should stop expecting so much of other people. People are selfish and will, reliably and regularly, disappoint you. The more you expect people to behave in a certain manner, the more let down and hurt you are going to feel when, almost inevitably, they don’t.

So the best course of action is to lower expectations of others and get on with it.

Of course these platitudes just lead to another passionate blitzkrieg of righteous indignation – and she is right – it is a sad state of affairs to have to lower expectations to the level of “what is” as opposed to “what should be” but there it is.

I think the Selfishness Syndrome is an increasingly prevalent malaise. People are rushed, stressed, overwhelmed and, at the end of the day, scared. Scared of what’s to come. Scared of losing. Scared of being trampled on by a dog-eat-dog society. Scared, ultimately, of death.

And this fear leads to defensive behaviour – one of which is selfishness.

Keeping Up Appearances

I read today in a surprisingly sensitive episode of the Lefsetz Letter that “if you even profess doubts, never mind actually lose, you’re kicked to the curb these days.  We’ve only got time for winners” and the quoted struck me as being related to the above issue.

I have experienced this on more than one occasion.

People are very concerned with attaching themselves to what appear to be ascending stars.

I used to be in a band, and in our day, we were the toast of the town. People couldn’t get enough of us: other musicians, girls, the media, venue operators. Our phone bill took a dive almost overnight when suddenly the situation turned from us doggedly calling out, over and over, to everybody calling us, wanting a piece of the action.

But eventually the band, formerly the single most unified group of people I have ever been a part of, began to grow weary of each other and this energy was palpable. Did anybody stand up and say “Hey, you guys have been working very hard and in each other’s pockets for 5 years now; why don’t you take a break and meanwhile me and some other friends will help you to get through this tough time”?

No.

What happened was that the entire city, everybody we knew right down to our parents and partners, smelt the fear and deserted the ship like the proverbial rats.

“It’s over man, move on” was all I heard from anybody. In retrospect, despite my sage advice to my beautiful lady, I feel very disappointed in others about this. We could have used some support, but the same crowd that did not believe we could do what we actually went out and did, were the first people to give up the hope we ended up inspiring in them and scarper at the first sign of trouble.

I am not surprised mind you – it’s just like Lefsetz said – people only have time for winners and at the first whiff of self-doubt, they will drop you like a stone. Unfortunate, but true. On the flipside, I am aware that if you stop putting energy into a project, the buzz is going to fade. So I am not dissing people for not hanging around breathlessly waiting for us (the band) to get off our arses and start kicking goals again. That would be delusional. You get according to what you put in.

The Golden Solution

There is hope though. But before I get to that I need to gripe about one more thing:

Hello? Has anybody out there other than me ever heard of the Golden Rule?

You do know what that is right?

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

Ok I am exaggerating – plenty of people do practice this … but MORE simply do not.

Let’s take an example that most bloggers and readers will relate to: social media.

The brilliant Gary Vaynerchuk repeatedly drums home that it’s counter-constructive to use platforms like Facebook, Twitter, etc. as one-way broadcasting channels to try to ram your shit down people’s throats. On a practical level it doesn’t work. In fact Gary quite rightly calls it spamming but this fact seems to be lost on many of my friends and acquaintances that are in bands, or run small businesses or what have you. Many of these people are never seen in my Facebook news feed until they have a new “thing” to promote and suddenly there they are jumping up and down screaming “look at me!” and “buy my shit” and “become my fan”.

I should point out that I have been guilty of this too in the past because it is hard to resist isn’t it? You sit there thinking to yourself “how can I get people to pay attention to my awesomeness” and you know they are all going to see whatever you post and it’s just so easy to bang out a mini-ad about yourself and hit submit.

But bottom line? It doesn’t work.

I have found that when I post something funny, insightful or useful to Facebook, I get responses. But when I post something like “Just recorded a new song, check it out” with a link, the response is usually muted.

Now maybe this is because my music is shit, but I reckon it’s because people hate (and gloss over) blatant self-promotion. I know this because I do it – big time.

I have a Facebook “friend” (who I have not seen since my teenage years) who is a painter and constantly touts her wares on Facebook.

Now – I know she’s a great artist but frankly, I tend to ignore most of her posts. I just don’t have the time or the desire to be marketed at by friends. After all, who likes a friend who wants to convert you to Amway or Born Again Christianity? Fucking nobody, that’s who.

Meanwhile you’re thinking – yeah but wasn’t this about the Golden Rule?

Well, yes it is – I’m getting to it.

So I have been reaching out blogging again and getting right back into social media, but I have come to the conclusion, like my dear charity-barbecue-organising lady, that people are simply too selfish to do much for you unless they see a very compelling “what’s in it for me” reason to do so. It’s the way it is. The Golden Rule is becoming the Forgotten Rule.

Sad but true.

BUT

I am trying an experiment.

I have always been pretty quick to help people out, especially online because I can do it from my desk, but what I have started doing over the last few weeks is taking this to a whole new level. I am devoting significant time and to going right out of my way to offer unsought after help to other people.

I am recommending music by other people to my network and to music industry people.

I am spending time in forums to promote another person’s podcast.

I am attending gigs that are an hour’s drive out of my way.

I am looking for more and more ways to help others to get ahead.

And I’m not asking for a thing in return.

I am doing this for two reasons, one altruistic, the other not.

The first reason is because we have to try to make this world a better place right? And, to use a cliché, you are either a part of the problem or a part of the solution. In this case the problem is people’s selfish reluctance to help others out. I want to not be like that because being like that sucks to the power of infinity plus four.

The second reason, ironically, perversely even, is that I want to see to what amount this affects people’s willingness to help me out, to promote MY shit, to recommend ME to others, even though I won’t ask them to.

I don’t know what the result of this experiment will be – but I truly hope that the Golden Rule is the Golden Solution to the (greater) problem of the Selfishness Syndrome and the (lesser) problem of how to sell one’s shit.

I will report back on how it goes. Thankfully, I am fairly certain that few people will read this far down so this post is unlikely to scuttle my cunning plan!

How do you motivate yourself? Do you struggle with motivation? I sure do and it really is a bummer when you have great ideas but can’t seem to get on with it and make them work.

Well folks, roll up, roll up! I have the solution to your problem and then some – read on!

How I Get Off My Lazy Butt And Get Things Done

You see I love to dream but to act is another matter. I am just not a huge fan of ‘hard’ work (I am sure many of you can relate). But still I manage to get a lot done. I put this down to two factors.

1. If ‘work’ is ‘hard’ then I find it very, very difficult to get going on it. However (and I am aware this is not a revolutionary concept) if I find the ‘work’ fun, then I love doing it and things get done.
2. However even when you are working on a project that is fun to large extent, there are still usually moments when the Big Fun Project requires some not-so-fun hard work. For example when I was in a band, the concerts were so much fun as to be almost unbelievable, but the hanging around all day, sick in the stomach with nerves, grinding through another boring sound-check? That was just a hard slog. But it had to be done …

And here’s the Greatest Motivational Secret In The World (Hey, it made a good headline, OK?)…

FEAR IS A GREAT MOTIVATOR

Put a gun to my head and I will do pretty much anything you ask.

Plonk me in a strange land with three kids to feed and I will work like a dog to make it in my new country of residence.

Tell me that 500 tickets have sold for the next show and I will rehearse all week and stick through the sound-check until everything sounds perfect.

Why?

Fear – that’s why.

Fear of a bullet in the head. Fear of starvation. Fear of public humiliation.

Fear of whatever – it’s a kick up the pants every time for sure.

How I Got Out Of Cubicle Hell By Burning My Boats

Last year I was at the point where I just couldn’t handle it anymore – working for the man that is.

But the trouble was even though I was forever coming up with truly excellent business ideas, plans and even launches, I never seemed to make enough money to be able to let my depressing full or part time employment go.

Until I realized that I wasn’t making my own entrepreneurial exploits profitable because I just wasn’t concerned about money. I have reasonably low living expenses, and even with the family to support I could just work half or three-quarter time and scrape by comfortably enough. Therefore I would work on the 1% of business ideas, the creative, inspirational aspects of them, until it was time to crack into the 99% hard work part of the game, then I would just let it slide and move on to a new idea because I had enough money to get by on.

I am just not that motivated by money; I need stimulation. But the flip-side to this was the work-a-day jobs were eating away at my soul. I needed to do something to force the change…

Introducing – the Fear Factor

So what I did was I burned the boats – I quit my job and told myself that it was sink or swim time.

This scared the shit out of me because while I don’t care about money much I sure as hell can’t live without it – and I have a wife and daughter to support!

Well, now our business, SquareEyes, (which I run with Steve who also manages this blog with me) is starting to do really well and I put this down to the Fear Factor.

Every morning I sit down at my desk and I know that if I don’t hustle then there’s no money coming in next week. That makes me scared – and that fear motivates me.

There Are Many Ways To Motivate Yourself

The trick is finding which motivational technique works for you.

The reason I got to typing about this topic this morning is because I just got a copy of The Essential Motivation Handbook by Leo Babauta, of ZenHabits fame and my online mate, Eric Hamm of the excellent and popular Motivate Thyself blog.

I haven’t finished the book yet, as of writing, but it’s not the kind of book that you read straight through because after you read a page or two you get all revved up and ready to rock.

By this I mean this book is sure to make you want to get on with it; it will you motivate you to get out there and achieve your dreams and then some.

I know it certainly got me going this morning. It got me thinking about what inspires me to act; what gets me off my lazy butt and into top gear. It inspired me to write this post.

And hey – you may not agree with all of their techniques but some of them are sure to work for you.

For example Leo says that he likes to use public accountability to motivate himself, but for me this doesn’t work so well.

Don’t get me wrong – in my endeavors I find that a certain level of indirect public accountability comes into play: when you quit your job it suddenly becomes everybody’s business (I wouldn’t be surprised if my friends and family are secretly taking bets on whether or not SquareEyes succeeds or fails). But for the most part I have found that publicly announcing “I am going to do THIS” just leads to failure. I am not sure why but my guess is that I am just too secure in myself (and too used to public failure!) that I don’t really care what people think of me beyond being seen as a good-hearted, constructive and law-abiding father, partner, friend, relative and member of society.

What I am saying is I have an ego with skin as thick as a rhino! If I fail, I fail. So what? I won’t stay up at night caring what any one else thinks of that. It just doesn’t concern me.

So there you go – try out the Fear Factor – see if it works for you. And I heartily recommend you click our affiliate link and buy this awesome new eBook The Essential Motivation Handbook – it is sure to get you off your couch and pushing on towards success, especially on those days where you just. can’t. be. bothered.

In case you need further convincing here is a list of the chapters. I think you’ll find this fine tome is choc-a-block full of motivational goodness:

1. How To Motivate Yourself
2. The Only Two Secrets to Motivating Yourself You’ll Ever Need
3. A Guide to Beating the Fears That Are Holding You Back
4. Task Ninja: Form the Action Habit
5. Top 20 Motivation Hacks
6. The Ultimate Guide to Motivation – How to Achieve Any Goal
7. Progress, Progress, Progress! 5 Tips To Keep You Moving Forward
8. 7 Steps to Turn Your Self-Improvement Desires Into Reality
9. 25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence
10. 6 Small Things You Can Do When You Lack Discipline
11. 16 Ways to Motivate Yourself When You’re in a Slump
12. 5 Tips For Motivational Recovery
13. The Magical Power of Focus
14. 10 Ways to Beat the “Can’t Get No Satisfaction” Syndrome
15. 30 Incredible Places to Turn When You Need Inspiration
16. How To Deal With Negative Feedback
17. How to Doggedly Pursue Your Dreams in the Face of Naysayers
18. Achieve Your Dreams Despite Pressures of Work and Family
19. Why You Should Celebrate Your Mistakes
20. How to Actually Execute Your To-do List
21. The Yin And Yang Of Persistence
22. Enduring the Valley to Get to Success
23. How To Relax And Why It’s So Important
24. The Simple Guide To Single-Tasking Success
25. Stop Reading About It and Do It

Click here to view more details

Well, maybe they do. Truthfully, I wouldn’t know, but I can’t help but reckon that those who walk around claiming to “perfectly enlightened” are probably at least partially faking it – if not out and out bullshitting us all – and so therefore they must have some pretty human moments. Try and picture it with me …

The seminar is over and the Guru has slipped into some casual attire and is down in the hotel lobby having a scotch, listening to the depressingly blue jazz band and trying to catch the eye of a pretty business woman. Unfortunately she turns her nose up at him so he downs his drink and retires to his room; yet another one. They all look the same.

He checks his email. Nothing interesting; just work and irritating questions from a few of the more obsessive disciples. “Why can’t they just switch on their brains and sort out their own problems?” he mutters, “Ah well – it’s a living.”

He flops on the bed and flicks on the TV. Sport. More sport. Bad movies. Oooh! Porn! Oh, unless you pay for it the screen goes blank after thirty seconds…

“Bah,” thinks the Guru. “Might as well turn in, gotta be up early for tomorrow’s flight to Seattle”.

Ok so I made that scenario up – and truthfully it’s most probably a reflection of what I would be like if I got myself a traveling guru gig – but you know…

The Set Up

When I hear people rave on about being perfectly enlightened I can’t help but feel a little cynical. Why do they feel the need to set themselves up to be so flawless?

Well the reason is simple: By setting themselves up as being Enlightened (or Rich, or Fit, or Productive, or Whatever) what they in fact are saying is “I am more Enlightened than you“. (Or rich or whatever.)

This then triggers in you a longing to be like you perceive them to be. Surely then you too can be rid of all that nasty fear, angst, depression, regret and the rest of the bad feelings that come with the package that is “being human”. Proclaiming perfection creates a tension in you, and that tension makes you buy their stuff.

Not that there is necessarily a problem there. If their stuff makes you feel better, even for a little while, then it is probably a good thing. And if all you do is make an effort to learn something and improve yourself a little – then great. But read back over the last line of the preceding paragraph.

See anything wrong with this picture?

Gurus Create Tension!?!

That’s just crazy! Isn’t it their job to relieve you of tension?

Nope.

It should be, but in reality their job description is just the opposite.

The Perfectly Enlightened guru makes you feel un-enlightened. The Perfectly Fit guru makes you feel like a fat slob. The Totally Rich guru makes you feel like a worthless loser. They have to – otherwise you wouldn’t buy their book.

Which might be fine with the Fit guy or the Rich guy (as long as you have, at least to some extent, the wisdom to rise above the Ego and its desire for what it perceives you lack). Chances are they ARE super-fit or super-rich (doesn’t mean they aren’t jerks though).

But the “Perfectly Enlightened” guy? That’s a whole ‘nother story.

Ain’t no such thing, Dude. Ain’t no such thing.

Further Reading:

Zen is Boring

You are already enlightened.